No one ever outgrows a mothers love

No one ever outgrows a mothers love!  My son who has been serving in the Middle East for 2 years will return to the states in 2 weeks.  At the bottom of my Mothers day card he wrote this "I can't wait to be able to call you everyday"

I can't either son.  He is 30, and independent, and successful, and self sufficient and still likes to call me.  He doesn't call because he needs to, or to solicit advice he calls because it feels good, because he can and it puts him in touch with what he holds dear, family.

This had me think about how the family dynamics and how our society has changed over the decades.  How parenting has changed.

What happened to the parents that did not tolerate laziness in their children, instilling in them to make the effort.  Thank you notes were not optional, manners were a must.  Values were learned by what we saw in our parents and said parents were not concerned about being our friend.  Consequences were owned not argued over.

While I think there are still a great many parents who still parent this way, it saddens me how many children are not, and how this will carry them into their adult lives.  I think of all that could be missed.

I wasn't the perfect parent and being a single parent many years, there were struggles however one thing I think that my children always knew is that they were loved and mom had their back however they also knew if they were wrong they needed to own that.  Being a parent does not mean we always have to agree with our children, it is loving them through it and in spite of it.

A bit off track? Maybe but you know how I roll!

I guess my thoughts on this are mothering is everlasting. It will always be, though it will not always be as we remember.  Our childhood layers rust, peels and goes away, but deep down under the surface there is residual.  My kids don't call me because they need me- (well sometimes they do ) or because they have to, but because they want to. 

So much has changed over the years that has a direct impact on the ways of our society.General kindness, civility is an heirloom.  I listen for the past but I cannot hear it.  I cannot even imagine the future of the next few generations.

I canned strawberry jam this week and  I wondered if my daughter and daughter in law will ever know the satisfaction you feel when you place those jars on the counter top and hear the melodious sound of the tops popping.

Last night my 10 yr old curled up in the recliner, nearly asleep he said mom, would you get me your green blanket and cover me up?  I smiled as I went to the basket( which is filled with blankets ) to get him My favorite.  A quilt made for me years ago by my mother.  It is worn, having been washed many times.  I carried it to him and as I laid it on him I thought about the work and love that went into the making of that quilt.  I have loved it back just as hard.  Useful to me, not put away so it doesn't get ruined, not saved for a special day, or so it will be nice when I pass it on- Loved like the one who made it.  He recognized out of all the blankets this one was special.  It had me think about the loss of time when quilts were made for warmth and not for money. 

I know all this from a sentence in a card, imagine what I can do with a whole letter!

So much goes into raising a child, but so much more comes out of it.  I am reaping the benefits now as my adult children can now be my friends.

Choose your words carefully, your actions more so.

A Fallen Soldier- Ryan Wilson

I love our Country, flaws and all. When my son attended the Naval Academy several years ago my patriotism became even more keen.  My senses were heightened somewhat when I became more aware of what it means for our military personnel to "keep us and our country safe".  My Pride deepened, my emotions stirred.   Each time I was in the position to sing our national anthem tears welled up in my eyes.  It is the same song I have known most of my life.  I have recited to pledge of allegiance all my life, but what was different is my son and his commitment to his career and his country.

I pray for him daily, I worry about the missions he performs, but I know that his safety is in the hands of our Lord.

2 days ago he called me with sad news.  Another young man with similar dreams of those my son has, a young man who also made a commitment to his country, who left behind a family while he too trotted off the Bahrain, He walked the same path my son is walking has lost his life.  Only 26 and leaving behind a wife and 3 year old child.

It hits home for those working with him.  As my son said "I can't wrap my head around it- a few days ago he posted on face book something about the gas prices here and now he is dead" Insignificant I know and so does he but it was his way of saying, We are only here for the present, we know nothing about our future.

Ryan Wilson, I am filled with sadness for your families loss, for what so many think is a loss too soon. I am filled with pride that you were NEVER one moment left alone even after you took your last breath.  That our military values your life and commitment enough though you are gone you still have worth. I can only imagine the smile on your face and tears in your eyes as you watched your fellow mates salute you as you were boarded onto the plane.  You will not be left alone until your body is in your resting place.

Memorial day is upon us this year as we honor the fallen soldiers  you
Ryan Wilson will be foremost in my mind.

Ryan Wilson on right in March getting

Sailor of the quarter.

Rest in Peace and Thank you for your service.

God Bless the Wilson family.



Someday I may have a Porch

"Porches are as synonymous with American culture as apple pie. While not unknown in colonial times, they rose to nationwide popularity in the decades before the Civil War, and remained in fashion for almost one hundred years. Ironically, the very social and technological forces that made them both popular and possible were eventually responsible for their decline." -- from Kahn, Preserving Porches

American Front Porch, Bald Head Island, North Carolina

---

When most Americans had front porches, and used them, nobody thought much about "A front Porch".  The front porch was just there and open addition that belonged to no one and to everyone. 

I try not to want for things so much that I lose sight of being appreciative of what I have.  I fail miserably though when it comes to a large front porch.  I love them and I want one. 

I love the history of the 1700's through the mid 1900's.  Much of my reading materials cover these time periods.  I love the simpler times, the struggles, the challenges, the resilience of the people of these times. 


On EVERY ride I search for the houses with the desired porches.  This is another structure that triggers abundant memories.

The front porch sets a scene for many memory makers.  It was the space that a young couple,just courting would sit.  A place where a Grandma and mama would sit and snap beans, or shuck peas.  A gathering place for the family while daddy turns the crank on the ice cream maker as everyone eagerly awaits that first taste.  Many a glass of lemonade is enjoyed on the front porch.

The porch represented the amercian ideal of family.  It was an outdoor living room.  Often the family would retire there after a long day of hard work.  As the evening air cooled the family could gather there. The children would play in the front yard while the parents rocked.  This simple front porch kept families united.
They may have shared stories or sung songs together. 

The porch started its fall out of grace right around the end of World War II. The advent of air conditioning, automobiles, and a change in social patterns all contributed toward the porch’s slide. It lost its social function because Americans increasingly wanted privacy.

After World War II much of the socialization that was previously front porch activities was moved to the family room or t.v room.  The front porch started to sit alone.

I am not sure what the attraction is now for those that desire front porches.  For me I think it is not only the structure, presenting itself as a place from earlier times that I so love, but an implication that in this space I will sit, I will have quiet time with God, I will relax with friends, I will connect with neighbors. And lets be honest here too- It will give me yet another place to decorate!

So if I am every fortunate enough to be given the gift of a front porch- PLEASE stop by and sit a spell and I will be sure to have some fresh squeezed lemonade ready for you!

Extra Extra read all about it!

I have been asked by several people to continue writing my Blog.  In an effort to increase the readership I am running a contest.


OK here is how it works:

• You must read all 62 of my past posts.
• You must make a comment after each post so I know you have read it.
• When you have finished send me an email at henrydawn1@gmail.com or facebook me  a message.
• Make sure you let me know which post is your favorite.

Everyone who reads all the posts will receive a special gift.

The first 5 who complete all the above steps will get an extra special gift.

The first reader to complete all the above steps will get a $50 gift card!

Game on !

Mother's day Blessings

I can't think of another Holiday that takes on different meanings like that of Mother's Day.

Easter we celebrate Resurrection of our Lord.  Yes we may have traditions in which we color Easter Eggs, or have Easter Egg hunts and fill baskets with goodies but ultimately there is 1 reason in which we celebrate it. 


We can trace the historic American Christian tradition of Thanksgiving back to the year 1623 after the harvest crops were gathered in November, Governor William Bradford of the Pilgrim Colony, in Plymouth Massachusetts proclaimed:

"All ye Pilgrims with your wives and little ones, do gather at the Meeting House, on the hill… there to listen to the pastor, and render Thanksgiving to the Almighty God for all His blessings."

Christmas we celebrate the Birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, and again even with all of the "woven in" traditions we are still really just celebrating His Birth and what it means.

Mothers day though is different for so many.  In one day we can be celebrating our own mothers while we are also being celebrated for being mothers.  This day isn't like our Birthday where we are celebrating the birth of an individual, we share this day and what a privilege to do so. 

Unfortunately, for some of us we no longer have our mothers with us to celebrate however what better day to continue to honor them. 

When I get cards, or compliments, well written words from my children about the mom I am, I think about my own mother.  Some of the good qualities I learned from her and the qualities I may possess because she didn't are still an indirect gift from her.  She may have parented different than I do, however in her doing so it taught me about the kind of mother I wanted to be.

Mothers day this year is a day of reflection for me.  You see this year I have the distinct pleasure of calling my own daughter on this her very first Mothers day.  I know share this badge with her.  We have been mother/daughter, parent/child, daughter/friend and now we are both mothers.

She will now get it! The mama bear instincts, the pit in your stomach when your child is ill, or hurting, or not near you or struggling with something.  She will get the tears of joy when they accomplish the smallest of tasks.   I will now longer be the only one with that label of motherhood and I proudly share this with her.

In the past couple weeks I have had much time to reflect on my life, and the recurring thoughts I had were about my life as a mother.  I have been very ill and surprisingly it had me thinking about my own mother who has been gone for many years now.  It made me realize that no matter how old we are, how strong we are, how together we think we are there are times we still miss our moms.

I thought about the legacy I would be leaving my own children.  Would it be enough?  Are their minds and hearts stored with enough memories and love to sustain them?  Have I taught them enough? Have I clipped their wings enough? Have they learned all the family traditions the need to carry on? 

My firstborn son now 30, married with a successful and honorable career, sent me a beautiful card and though the pre-printed words were beautiful, it is what he wrote inside from his heart, it is what he does for me, It is him saying that he is so proud to call me mom and the one thing he can't wait for when he returns to the states is that he can call me everyday!

My beautiful daughter now a new mommy with a daughter of her own. She may not know how special it is but she sent me my first Grandma card.  She had a house full of people and was expecting her brother and his wife from Saudi Arabia for a week to meet their new niece and when she learned I was on the hospital she was going to book a flight to be by my side.  Though I would have loved nothing more- the real gift is knowing they were going to be together, these 2 children of mine who love one another so much- Yes I think they get it and I think I did do enough.

My mommy hood though continues on now as I teach a new young man.  I can equip him with the tools he needs, and guide him in the paths I think he should go. Even though he came into our family in a different way he is no less family, he grew not in my belly and not only in my heart but in the heart of my amazing children. Today he put on his tuxedo t-shirt after church and laid a towel over his arm and said "I am your butler for the day" 

So even though gone are the days when I would leave little notes in lunch boxes, or camping bags, Or when we would have marathon talks about life's lessons. When the problems of their childhood days seemed monumental and I had to try to teach them that this will not matter later on. I see the joy in the hearts when we go through their things in the basement to see what is worthy of surviving another move and they say, "wow you still have this"? Yes my child it was so special to me then and it is now. I have clipped those apron strings but I give one to each of you to carry in your pocket.