Callan Has something to say!

Well hello, Callan here.  I am now nearly 11  weeks old and just as my brother Alden and Cousins, Audrey and Rilah shared it is now my turn to hack into Nanas bog and share a post about me.

I am not sure hacking is the correct term because it seems I really had no choice in the matter.   You see I have been told that Nana is a bit obsessed when it comes to her grandbabies which is what I am I guess.

So here's the thing at only 3 days old I already landed my first gig as a model.  I work for nana which means I get paid in kisses and lots of them.  I really don't mind because Nana told me (shhhhhh don't tell anyone) I am the cuddliest of her babes. 



So here I am .  I know , I know I am cute and  have a lot of hair, whatever that is.  I just know that whenever someone meets me that is the first things they notice. 

 

 

 

 

So I was born into a family who already did this once before so I figure my brother paved the way so it should be easy sailing for me.  This is me with my big brother Alden.

 

I think he is a super hero, or maybe it is him who thinks he is a super hero.

I know we will be best friends.

 

 

This is my family.  They are making a big fuss over me and the fact that they are taking me home for the first time.  


How did I get my name you ask? Did you ask? Well Mommy liked the name Callen and as soon as Daddy could associate it with Allan Shepard who I guess is some big deal of an astronaut he combined his name with the planet Callisto and Callan was born!  #mydaddytherocketscientist


I first met Nana and Auntie Ashley and boy do those girls like to snuggle with me and play with my hair!  Don't tell anyone but I actually loved it.


Then I got to meet, Uncle Cameron aka C-Dizzle (what kind of name is that?) Uncle Rick, and cousins Audrey and Rilah.  I will be a silent observer this time but can't wait until I can run around with that crew I am told Nana loves to play with us!

Here I am with my
brother Alden and cousins Audrey and Rilah.

And her is Uncle C-Dizz.



Well thanks for humoring me with my first blog post my writing skills are still at an elementary level after all I am only a few weeks old.

 

 

Are you my Mother? ( Happy Family day Cameron)

I find it interesting that dates play such an important role in our lives.  We celebrate Birthdays, Anniversaries, Mothers day, Fathers day, Grandparents day and even important milestones.  I know there are symbolic reasons for those celebrations that have simply become traditions.

January 26 is Happy Family day for my son Cameron, a day equally as important as his Birthday.  I say equally important because the world was made so much brighter by his presence but it is actually more important.  Prior to celebrating Family day Cameron was not legally mine.  Yes I brought him home from the hospital at the time of his birth, however it would take over 2 years before he was forever mine.  During those two years there was the possibility that he could be removed from me.  My days were filled with what if’s…..

What if the mother he was removed from was given another chance?

What if she wanted visitation?

What if a family member came forward?

What if this little child who was mine in every other way would be taken from my heart?

The years were filled with hope yes but not without turbulence as well.

A mother who never saw him after birth, still had a say in his life.  Imagine the frustrations when this child , to you , is yours however you need her permission to cut his hair, to get him circumcised, to take him on a trip even out of the county! No that is not a typo I did say County not Country.  I finally fought to get a waiver because imagine living on the county line and you turn left and you are in one county and you turn right and you are in another.

Yes Family day means so much more.  It was a day of emotion and happy tears.  It was a day in court, my little guy dressed in a little tux because this is a BIG deal would leave that room knowing he will FOREVER be mine.  It was a day I couldn’t be prepared for.  A day I promised my love and commitment to raising this child of another race.  Why is that even a statement I would make?  Because the ONLY thing that was addressed was the obvious differences in our skin color.

Are you prepared you teach him about his culture?

Are you prepared as a single Caucasian female to raise an African American boy?  Excuse me did you just ask me that?  Do people come this far NOT realizing they are about to adopt someone who may not look like them?

When you give birth no one walks in the delivery room and questions your capabilities or questions what you have done to prepare for this child.  They are yours and the multiple security measures in place assure you that no one else will leave with your child. Multiple family members and friends comment on how much the baby may look like you.  With adopting outside of your race there is no question this child is adopted.

 With Adoption up until the judge lifts that gavel and declares the adoption final that child does not legally belong to you.  It matters not that the first time you laid eyes on that child they became yours in your heart. 

I have said this before and it likely will sound just as strange to some as it has in the past.  When I look at Cameron I truly do not see that he is a different color than me.  How can that be?  Because when you love a child or love anyone you see their heart, their qualities, who they are not what they look like.  I just see my son. 

I have been Blessed to experience having birth children and an adopted child and while the process is significantly different the end results are identical.  A child who is 100% mine.  A brother to his siblings, a brother in law, Grandson, a nephew, an Uncle.  And most importantly a Son.  He is not just mine he has multiple relationship roles in our family.

So Happy Family days are so much more than a Birthday it is a day that marks “Forever” in the life of a child who was not born into a family, and “forever” into a family that wanted him.

And to Cameron who I know loves his forever family but questions who he looks like.  Yes my little duckling, I am your mother.

Not Flesh of my Flesh nor bone of my bone but still miraculously my own

Never forget for a single minute, you didn’t grow under my heart but in it.

Diapers to Diplomas

It seems lately that I have been the recipient of overdosed reality checks.  Because of my choice to adopt after my birth children were nearly grown and one already out of the house I realized this week that I have been raising children for 35 continuous years.  That sobering  joyful thought lead my mind to thoughts of what my life now looks like in the lives of these amazing children.  Why did it smack my eyes open?  In a few short weeks that baby boy will be driving! YIKES! , My first grandchild is 5 years old today, and in 2 years my nest will be empty again.  While I WAS a self proclaimed poster girl for empty nest syndrome 15 years ago I can guarantee you won’t find me on that poster again! 

I loved and still love every moment of being a mom.  My life recently came to a huge fork in the road and I had to choose which route to take.  Sometimes the road to get there is filled with rocks and pot holes but when your destination is reached I hope like me you find that you chose the road that your heart desired and found peace. 

As my thoughts were flying all over the place with regards to these reality checks I could not help but smile at the tremendous changes that take place when your children become adults. 

My first born an Officer in the United States Navy exposed me to the Naval Academy and the pride felt each time I visited him there.  It was here his life as an adult child began.  That career has afforded him many wonderful opportunities, likely they are more glamorous through my eyes than his.  That same Career has taken him away from me and sent him to foreign countries.  It has handed us Holidays without him.  It has given me great locations to visit him at.  It has made me honor our country more than I ever had.  This man met his wife and together  has given me two amazing grandsons.  These grandsons have given me glimpses of my past when their daddy was a little boy.

My second born and only daughter grew wings early and took flight spending a year in Germany on a Congressional Scholarship.  This experience was one of the most conflicting I had ever faced.  Thrilled for her and this accomplishment and what it would mean for her and sad to face a year without her.  Upon her return she chose a College out of state and there her life as an adult child began.  It was here she found the love of her life and it was this state( NC) she chose to call home.   She has Blessed me with two beautiful granddaughter’s her first and my first grandchild.

Soon my last little charge will sit behind the wheel of a car and in a couple years he will look around the nest and he too will spread his wings and be gone.  Just like that my nest will be empty again.  The difference is this time I am ready.  I have Peace. His life as an adult child will likely afford me additional firsts.  Our relationship will shift as he becomes more independent.   Who am I kidding he’s a boy and they always need their Mama’s

 I know that being a mother to an adult child offers so much joy as well.  Reaching adulthood does not mean the termination of a loving good relationship with the people who raised their babies from diapers to diplomas.   

Adult children are an extension of you and their children are an extension of them.  Some may say life has come full circle but when I hear that I feel like it denotes and end.  I know there are more experiences, more joys and more life to be added to our life, making our circle continue to grow.  No the circle isn’t closed just yet.

Listen to what I don't have to say.

 

We live in a very “Connected” society and I mean digital connection.  I feel I should attach a disclaimer because I use social media, and text for communication as well.  This post isn’t about agreeing or disagreeing with these forms of communication it is about what may be missing. 

Is it convenient?  Yes at times it certainly is.  Is it preferred?  Maybe at times it is.  This is not to make claim that these forms of communication are wrong, I love it, I use it.  However If there is a choice I choose face to face time. 

How many feelings are lost in a text?   How many imagined tones, or thoughts when receiving a text?  I love to talk.  There I said it!  Not so incessantly that people have to say- enough be quiet , but I like to feel my conversations.  I like to observe body language.  I like to hear how something is being said.  How many times do we speak with our eyes?  Now that is TOTALLY lost on a selfie. 

Seriously there is an art in conversing with others. 

Our lives are based on our ability to communicate. The meaning of communication is the response it elicits, not the intention.  The response is not just in the spoken word but oh so much is lost when those words are simply typed and sent.

Breaking down the ingredients of a conversation;

1. The content  - what we have to say, what the conversation is about. Even though the content is the ingredient least paid attention to it is still important.

2. The process - how we choose to say it.  The expressions we use. More than half of the content of a conversation is through nonverbal communication with a good portion being tones.  Again this entire part of a conversation is lost when communication via social media or text.  What happens then is imagined communication begins because we cannot observe expressions, gestures or body language.

3. The timing – Timing greatly influences how we process information in a conversation.  With text and social media much time could pass between communicating and the entire purpose for the conversation could possibly be over before a response is given. 



Most importantly are we talking with each other or at each other?



Conversation is the most natural, effective form of human connection but we are removing the “human form” and replacing it with what at times is convenient, swift, and yes maybe even effective, but at what cost?  I love people.  I like to look in one’s eyes as I talk to them.  I like to see if what I have to say makes them smile or if what I said brings them to tears. 
 

Conversation is an emotional tool we have – it helps us navigate through a discussion yet we are unlearning how to stay in a conversation long enough to learn from it.  I learn a lot by having a conversation with someone face to face.  There are things we can’t learn from hidden conversations, defined as texting. 

Expressing my thoughts on communication does not eliminate me from the population of texters. ( I am sure that is a word).  I still do and will text because there are times it is the only way I am able to communicate with someone at that given time.  I don’t think of it as replacing communication but an addition to. 
 My point is when we are with people …. Talk to those people.  Listen to what I don’t have to say and maybe you will hear what I am saying.

NOT A RESOLUTION BUT A REVELATION.

Finding my way back to a love of mine- Writing.

Goodbye 2016, I say that with excitement.  This is a year that I am pleased is behind me.  I don’t generally like to rush life but moving forward is the right thing to do.  You have left me bruised and at times a bit beaten but you didn’t win.  If I had let you win I would not have been able to see the good that 2016 gave me.  The God Sightings, the life changing aha moments, the beautiful new grandson.  No, 2016 I leave you on the ground after a good butt kicking   gentle reminder of who is in control.

So. I am moving forward with anticipation of a wonderful new year.  A year older, a whole lot wiser and just a little bit excited to write this chapter.  How though do you write a chapter about something that has not happened?  It is easy to put our memories down into words because they have already occurred.  But putting down our future is impossible.  How do I know this?  If I wrote my own life story to date, it would have gone a little different than reality.  Yes I have made choices, decisions, and taken paths that were led by me but not all of those paths were paved with beauty. 

Looking forward to a new year , I long ago have thrown resolutions to the wind because they are just additional opportunities to disappoint ourselves when we fail.  We do or at least I do try to see how your year will unfold.  Some things we are in control of others we are not. 

This year I will not look back on my failures, my heartaches, my disappointments I will move forward with joy, Hope, and a renewed spirit.  I don’t know what will come my way in 2017 but I am ready to catch it and this is why.

• 2016 was not a stellar year for me and when my world was falling apart I learned that I have many good friends who carried me when I couldn’t walk alone.  Who picked me up when I wanted to fall.  Friends who made decisions for me, when I could not.  Friends who looked out for my best interest and friends who told me things I may not have even wanted to hear.
• I have Faith that carries me when I don’t want to be held.  A Lord who loves me when I am unlovable.  He guides my path even when I start going the wrong way.  He will never forsake me or leave me.  There is nothing I can do to make him turn away from me.  I am already good enough. 
• I am at my best when I am “Simply me”
• I have been Blessed with a beautiful family.  That is enough to know each day I have with them is a gift.

I am a realist so I am not at all anticipating that 2017 will be filled with rainbows and Unicorns, however I do feel I may be better equipped to wrestle and win whatever is thrown at me.  I know that with each disappointment and failure we typically get beaten when we are in the midst of it.  How much more could be learned from those life lessons if we embraced it, kicked it to the curb and let it go.  Harboring no residual feelings that can burden us.

Letting go in the middle of a crisis is hard but letting go for good is essential.

You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf.

"You may not control all the events that happen to you but you can decide not to be reduced by them."- Maya Angelou

 

 Every one of us, if given the chance could tell a story about our lives.  Some may have caused a mere ripple while others go deeper.

 

Stories may be similar to the listener but to the one who "owns" it, it has an entirely different effect.  It may be life-changing, it may be crippling, it may be life-altering, good or bad.  It may define you for the rest of your life.

 

All of our stories though similar in the telling, for some, is but a portion of the outcome.  How we choose to respond is significant in the conclusion.

 

Many of us map out our lives to our liking.  Sometimes it looks selfish sometimes it looks generous.  Always it looks perfect because who would map out their life to include pain, disappointment and sorrow?

 

Our failure is when we place all of our hope on the life that WE mapped out, so that when the unexpected happens it can completely throw us off course.  We become vulnerable. we become unsure of what to do because this wasn't in our plans".  We become uncomfortable feeling ill equipped to maneuver this unplanned disruptive course.

 

I think when life throws us a curve it is often a hard ball to catch.  Sometimes it is easy to shake off.  Sometimes it shakes us to the core.  I believe that when we are thrown off course, when our map starts winding in directions we didn't plan, we experience stages much like those of grief.

 

In no way do I, have I, or will I ever always follow these suggestions. 

 

First and foremost Pray- It is easy to pray and say I am going to give it to God however sometimes our human hearts do not easily allow us to relinquish it all to Him.

 

Be Honest-

 

Even if your map has one or many detours in it, don't think you have failed.  Face it head on. (I am not good at this) The more we make excuses the longer it takes to face the truths and get back on course.  Being angry and hurt are acceptable feelings and is part of being honest with yourself.  For me the sooner I can start thinking clearly. (Not to be confused with actually taking steps- that could take me eons) the quicker I feel resolve.

 

Be Open-

 

So your map got messed up and now you have to face something that threw you off course.  It may be something that is hard to let go of but holding on can make us resentful.  It may lead you on a journey that was never close to being on your map.  Embrace it (after you have hated it) It may produce good changes.

 

 

Be Kind-

 

Even if what has happened in your life is your fault, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself.  Talk to yourself lovingly- you may be the only one at that point who does.  Our actions have to come from the heart.  Let your action of choice be love.

 

Trust-

 

That even though your life may NOT be following the course you mapped out, it may be turning out exactly as it was meant to be.

 

Go with the flow

 

Doesn't even make sense to anyone who has their life 'mapped out" I have to remind myself(often) that when I try to create the life I alone want, it is then that I am thrown off course.  Choosing how I respond can put me back on the correct path.

 

Have courage-

 

Because when something unexpected happens you may just discover what you are truly in search of.

 

 

 

  

 

 

My child will do it different

The beginning of another school year is only 9 days away.  Like most mothers the last few days of summer break are filled with getting school supplies, figuring out new schedules, and leaving behind the more flexible schedules.

It has been many years since I sent a child into their first year of high school , and though times have changed the apprehensions have not.
Freshman nerves are already displaying themselves. 

Pretty words like, be yourself, be a leader not a follower, Make good choices, does nothing to soothe the fears.

I have to be honest this ride is not easy for this mama either.  I know that the moment our children begin school we " Send them out " to be influenced by others but sending them into high school they are so vulnerable.  There are more opportunities for independence, more opportunities to be tempted, more circumstances for them to make choices that can impact their lives.

   I mean in grade school when you color a person blue- it does nothing to change your life.   Guys High school is peer pressure on steroids!

Do I think my son will make good choices? yes most of the time.
Does he want to fit in? Absolutely!
Will he make any bad choices? there is that chance!
Is he a good kid? Yes he is
Do good kids make bad choices? yes they do!

When I started school in the 60's and my adult children in the 80's/90's times were different but feelings were not.

I am guilty of thinking at times "My child will do it differently"

Different than who?  Different than what? 
Better?
Different than we may want them to that is what.
Peer pressure is enormous and" the way " they may have been taught is at risk or being swept under the rug even if only temporarily.

Do I like that ? NO

Do kids need to fail to learn?  Yes they do.

Even great kids are not always great!  Boundaries will be stretched, experiences will be had. 

Our teens are facing issues in our present day world that are just ugly.  how do we shield them from it all?  We can't.

We can pray for them, we can be an example for them, we can love them through all the choices they make good and bad.  We can show them the Grace that was given us.

High school isn't for sissies!

Good luck Cameron may your dreams of being an orthodontist come true! Seem premature since he is a freshman?  Well in  2015 In our district you choose your high school based on what your career choice is! So he will be in a medical program and have his first year of college completed when he graduates!

UGH- Give me Romper Room!

Rilah Marie has something to say .

Let me start by introducing myself.  I am Rilah Marie.  3rd grandchild of Nana who is helping me write this post.

 
I am 7 weeks old today and my big sister Audrey and cousin Alden told me nana would be helping me express myself on her blog.  They said "don't think you are going to get out of it."  I guess this is one of those moments that can be defined as indulging Nana.

I think the first was when I was 3 days old and had a photo shoot similar to what a super model would have to endure.  "Just do it they said, it will pay off later"

SO here I am!  My first week was a whirlwind of learning.  I mean before my birth I had no complaints about where I was.  I did nothing for myself, and suddenly I have to work at getting my food.  I first met mommy, daddy and Nana.  They all cried and seemed pretty happy to see me. 

My first full day someone called Grammy and Pops brought my big sister Audrey to meet me.  Wow was she excited and someday I may just have to remind her of that!

This is us! I love her!

Sometimes when I cry she tells me "it's ok"  I know someday I will have fun playing with her.

 

  

 

These pictures below are only a sample of what Nana put me through!

 

Shhhhh I have a secret.  Nana told me I was the BEST behaved for my newborn pictures.  Sorry Audrey and Alden!

 

You guys told me to "suck up early" Thanks for the advise!

 

 

 

 

 

This is my family !

 

 

 

 

 

I had a great few weeks getting to know my family!

 

Grammy and Pops were close by to give sister Audrey some great 1:1 time while mommy and daddy got used to me!  I am pretty easy to love though!

 

So I am pretty happy I landed in this family. 

 

I know that Mommy will be my biggest fan;

Daddy will be my fierce protector;

Nana will be the biggest sappy pushover  sentimentalist;

Gramps will cuddle and ride bikes with me;

Grammy will have pictures of every event for me;

Pops- He will play ANYTHING with me;

Uncle Cameron won't let anyone hurt me;

I haven't met Uncle Bryan yet but I will;

Uncle Mike will teach me, well pretty much anything I want to know;

Auntie Mere will keep me girly;

Cousin Alden and sister Audrey will likely get me in trouble be my best friends.

 

SO I figure I left the comfort of my mama, but I feel Blessed about this life I have been given.

 

How did I do Nana?

 

 

 

Just swell precious!

 

 

 

The Summers of "then"

In a few weeks summer will be officially here.  With the crazy weather most of the United States had this past winter I am certain that the long awaited days for warmth will be welcome. 

Summer is a season that always seems to flood my mind with memories.  I think, due to the fact that as kids we were (well most of us) excited to be out of school.  Now I don't have the privilege of asking my parents this but I cannot recall a summer day of my youth that I ever said "I'm bored"

Summers of the 60's has very few things in common with the "Summer of now"  The temperatures are probably close to the only constant.  Yes kids are still out of school for the summer.  Yes more people are likely to go on vacation in the summer.  However the days now look very different.

Most of us long for simpler, at one time or another.  Something as simple as freshly washed clothes blowing in the breezes as they hung from wooden clothespins on a line propped up by a post or tree branch. I can still see my mother attaching the clothes to one another.  A lost art.   Kids now are denied the rush one gets from smelling sheets that are scented with the great outdoors.  HOA would not allow something as unsightly as ones clothing rippling through the neighborhood.

Summer time meant more time to go to the five and dime store, like Woolworth.  Oh how I loved that store.  The smells wafting from the lunch counter. 

There would be no pizza delivered to our home but I remember when milk was.  A metal Milk box would sit outside of our door and when the milkman came he would leave what was ordered by leaving a note or a number inside the box.  I am not certain how those milk bottles lasted very long in a family with 9 children.

One of my favorite summer past time was walking down to the corner store.  We lived out in the country so it truly was a country store.  Elmer the store owner knew us all by name.  There were no credit or debit cards.  If we wanted or needed something we simply had it put on a tab until Friday when dad got paid and would stop and take care of it.  Penny candy truly was penny candy and sometimes more than 1 for a penny.  Candy would be in bins unwrapped and we would get small paper bags and choose what we wanted.  We would slowly walk home , stopping at times to play in the creek.

Countless hours were spent outside.  We always had something to do and if we didn't, we found something by using our imaginations.  When you lived in the Country there were many places to roam.  We had large hills, We made forts. found very large holes on the hills that became our bunkers.

We could all pile in the back of dad's pick up truck and ride in the open air down to the dairy to get ice cream cones and it was not illegal and no one considered it unsafe. 

We spent numerous summers camping and kept so busy we never thought we were missing a thing by not having internet. we explored, swam, played hard.  We sat by the campfires as a family and talked and sang while dad played the harmonica.   We made memories that are not wrapped up in video games.

I know that progress is good - no, I know it is great.  I just find it so sad that with progress there is loss.  I don't mean everyone has to camp.  I don't mean that children and families are not making great memories because we do.  Each generation has new and different exposures that will contribute to the making of their memories but those of us who lived our young lives during the simpler times, I can't help but believe most of us feel sorry for the generations that haven't.

I am still trying to figure out where all the lightening bugs went!  There were so many firefles when I was a child they could light our way to play out after dark, which by the way was safe!

I can't change the culture or the times for my family.  I can make certain that in years to come they will have memories that warm them.  Memories that they miss.  Memories that they will try to somehow recreate for their families.

Have a great memory making summer.  Count fireflies, run in the rain-(This is fun I have already introduced my grandbabies to it and their giggles were so worth it).

Empty Nesting - Round 2

14 years ago I was preparing to become an "empty nester".  Who am I kidding I wasn't preparing for it, I was dreading it.  Life's circumstances left me needing to nurture someone other than myself, and soon "I" was the only individual that would be left behind in an empty home.

Excitement over my sons ongoing education at the United States Naval Academy and the impending departure of my daughter to spend a year in Germany after graduation, collided with a dread for the "emptiness" I was feeling.

I chose to foster a child-(OK I became a poster child for empty nest syndrome and fostered 3 under the age of 2 at one time) and ultimately adopted that child.

Background information out of the way-moving forward my soon to be 14 year old will enter high school this year and that nest is preparing- yes preparing not dreading to drop this birdie fro the nest and watch him fly.

NOT because round two was difficult, or a mistake, or that I regret it all, but quite the opposite.

What I have learned from Birdie #1 and Birdie #2 is that I love being a mama to them as adults.  I did not lose the title, my role just shifted.  They still need me, and more importantly they choose to spend time with me.  Our relationship that was developed during their childhood is solidified in adulthood.

I have learned that the lives they lead reflect so much of what I taught them.  Lessons they learned are lessons I taught.  Decisions they make are based on morals they have learned, experiences they have had and mistakes they made.


I learned that "those teenagers" become awesome adults I want to be around every chance I get.

Premature as it may seem to be thinking of an empty nest- I choose to be prepared this time.  I mean to adopt again would be nothing short of lunatic behavior special.  I know all too well how quickly these last 4 years will go and I know how busy these young people are and how self-centered (not entirely in a bad way)they can get.  Mom's don't always fit in.

By preparing I mean the gradual letting go of the things he now loves.

• How long will he still want to curl up and watch a movie together?
• How much longer will he want to run errands with me?
• How much longer will I still be his first choice movie going partner?
• How much longer is he going to love mom and son dates?
• How much longer is he going to share everything with me?
• When will I no longer be his #1 girl?

Al healthy changes I know, but nonetheless they leave a void and with each ding, the hole grows and one more feather is plucked.

I know I am more prepared this time because even though I do not know what our future holds, I do know that our hearts for one another remain intact.  I know that being a mom does not end with their coming into adulthood it continues to grow with a newfound love and respect for one another.

So with this round am I excited? YES.  I am not going to lie and sound like mother of the year I am looking forward to NOT;

• Packing lunches or using what feels like a chunk of your 401K to pay for them.
• Making sure h is up for school.
• ALWAYS having a balanced meal-(Oh relax, I don't Always do that cuz he loves cereal).
• Hearing "I need new shoes again"( You mean your feet grew that much in 4 weeks).
• Running out of milk like every other day- However I know that once he is gone and I each for a gallon of milk in the store, tears will be triggered and I will miss him. And then I will go home and dance.
• Going to every single school conference, meeting, event, sport activity and award ceremony.
• Assigning chores and then explaining for the trigillonth(I am sure that is a number)time why it is his responsibility.
• Having someone stand over you while you are taking the only nap you have had in 10 months and say "are you awake"?
• Having what is equivalent to the entire schools football team in my backyard playing trampoline football cuz eventually ALL those boys get thirsty and hungry.

So you get the idea-and while I am looking forward I know for certain I will also look back and these same memories will place a smile on my face and cause a little flutter in my heart.

While I  pray for my children daily, I must confess I pray for them more often now that some of my time has been released from the duties of their young lives.  I can sped more time on the spiritual needs of their lives.

Proverbs 22:6
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it".

I raised my children with hope for what their adult lives would look like and still I am amazed of what good, capable people they are.

So if you are readying yourself to release your first or last bird from the nest, know this, you still have something to give them- your true self.

And so in a few months the countdown will begin for the first stages of preparing my bird to fluff up his wings and get ready to fly, not completely on his own- no, never that.

My parenting of the flesh may soon be over for my littlest bird but my parenting of the spirit is not and I must trust God to do what I cannot, and he will. I know.

My three Birds!