Listen to what I don't have to say.

 

We live in a very “Connected” society and I mean digital connection.  I feel I should attach a disclaimer because I use social media, and text for communication as well.  This post isn’t about agreeing or disagreeing with these forms of communication it is about what may be missing. 

Is it convenient?  Yes at times it certainly is.  Is it preferred?  Maybe at times it is.  This is not to make claim that these forms of communication are wrong, I love it, I use it.  However If there is a choice I choose face to face time. 

How many feelings are lost in a text?   How many imagined tones, or thoughts when receiving a text?  I love to talk.  There I said it!  Not so incessantly that people have to say- enough be quiet , but I like to feel my conversations.  I like to observe body language.  I like to hear how something is being said.  How many times do we speak with our eyes?  Now that is TOTALLY lost on a selfie. 

Seriously there is an art in conversing with others. 

Our lives are based on our ability to communicate. The meaning of communication is the response it elicits, not the intention.  The response is not just in the spoken word but oh so much is lost when those words are simply typed and sent.

Breaking down the ingredients of a conversation;

1. The content  - what we have to say, what the conversation is about. Even though the content is the ingredient least paid attention to it is still important.

2. The process - how we choose to say it.  The expressions we use. More than half of the content of a conversation is through nonverbal communication with a good portion being tones.  Again this entire part of a conversation is lost when communication via social media or text.  What happens then is imagined communication begins because we cannot observe expressions, gestures or body language.

3. The timing – Timing greatly influences how we process information in a conversation.  With text and social media much time could pass between communicating and the entire purpose for the conversation could possibly be over before a response is given. 



Most importantly are we talking with each other or at each other?



Conversation is the most natural, effective form of human connection but we are removing the “human form” and replacing it with what at times is convenient, swift, and yes maybe even effective, but at what cost?  I love people.  I like to look in one’s eyes as I talk to them.  I like to see if what I have to say makes them smile or if what I said brings them to tears. 
 

Conversation is an emotional tool we have – it helps us navigate through a discussion yet we are unlearning how to stay in a conversation long enough to learn from it.  I learn a lot by having a conversation with someone face to face.  There are things we can’t learn from hidden conversations, defined as texting. 

Expressing my thoughts on communication does not eliminate me from the population of texters. ( I am sure that is a word).  I still do and will text because there are times it is the only way I am able to communicate with someone at that given time.  I don’t think of it as replacing communication but an addition to. 
 My point is when we are with people …. Talk to those people.  Listen to what I don’t have to say and maybe you will hear what I am saying.