When our lives are interrupted by pain or a traumatic event it can seem like we are sliding into nowhere. We may hide in a closet, we may look in a mirror and ask ourselves, what's next. We may run away even if for a short time. Eventually (unfortunately all too often it is eventual) we open the word and find comfort there.
When tragedy strikes the world be it a tragic event or force of nature, our lives come to a screeching halt. Events that occur without or with little warning seem to be more difficult to emotionally manage. Things which are out of our control are most difficult. We humans want to retain composure and figure out what to do after such an event.
With the recent tragic tornado that struck Moore Oklahoma most of us likely felt grief and sympathy for those in the direct path of disaster. I watched, feeling so helpless but I also felt vulnerable to a loss of control in our lives.
Each day we face has the potential for threats and danger but we insulate ourselves as though we are guaranteed another day. We find comfort in predictability then when life becomes anything but predictable we feel helpless.
Because we cannot live a life completely void of tragedy, or maybe just disappointments we can choose how we accept or move through the aftermath. Valid emotions must be recognized and processed to find resolve within ourselves. Finding a way to restore peace and a sense of balance to our lives.
I have experienced personal tragedies and I have witnessed tragedies of others. While I firmly believe we all own our own emotions and have various ways of processing I equally believe there is only one way to restore peace be it personal or worldly.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
There are heroes among us.
Where do we draw the line which separates the normal human being to a superhuman?
One really doesn't need to possess superhuman powers to entitle them to be labeled a hero. Doing something heroic doesn't change who you are, it defines who you are or better the qualities you possess.
Heroes are people who possess extraordinary traits of altruism or self-less concern for the well-being of others.
Common traits of a hero may look like this,
Selflessness
Conscience
Courage
Intelligence
Common traits of an 11 yr old may look like this,
Selfish/Self centered
Careless
Follower
Awkward
I want to share a story about an 11 year old. This child thrives on routine. Every night before bed he chooses his clothing for the next day. He cannot sleep if he doesn't do this. If something he needs has to be washed he cannot sleep until he knows it is out of the dryer and placed with his other clothes for the day.
If he does something one way he must always do it that way. His many pair of shoes (because they need to match his clothes or he has trouble with that) neatly line his closet.
Like most 11 year olds he is self centered at times. He molds himself into the environment he is in so that he feels he belongs. He identifies what people like about him and accentuates that.
He leaves the house at the EXACT same time everyday to catch the bus. Not a minute too soon or too late. Changing his routine is not an option.
Yesterday morning he forget self and was a hero.
He walked to the bus stop and when he reached the corner, there stood a toddler, alone no adult near.
Cameron; Where is your mommy?
Toddler; I am lost.
Cameron; Where do you live?
Toddler; I am lost.
Cameron; What is you name?
Toddler; Maxton
Cameron; Oh I know where you live, take my hand and I will take you there.
So Cameron left the comfort of his routine- not worried about missing his bus, and at 7am walked several houses down the street to safely return this toddler to his mother. Cameron rang the doorbell and a sleepy, pajama clad mama came to the door unaware her child was missing.
This could have turned out with an unhappy ending, but a little hero came out and was selfless.
Carrying the traits of a hero can be admirable however it is coming forward to display them that is important. Initiative is an important trait in a hero. Someone who comes forward in adversity is a true hero.
I know there are many different levels of heroism. Cameron didn't catch a bad guy or fight a fire. He didn't rescue someone from drowning or from a pack of viscous dogs. He didn't search through rubble for victims of a tornado.
What he did do was think first of someone else without regard for self.
He returned a child to the safety of his mothers arms.
He calmed the little guys fears.
He took his hand and led him home.
There are heroes among us, they may be in your home.
One really doesn't need to possess superhuman powers to entitle them to be labeled a hero. Doing something heroic doesn't change who you are, it defines who you are or better the qualities you possess.
Heroes are people who possess extraordinary traits of altruism or self-less concern for the well-being of others.
Common traits of a hero may look like this,
Selflessness
Conscience
Courage
Intelligence
Common traits of an 11 yr old may look like this,
Selfish/Self centered
Careless
Follower
Awkward
I want to share a story about an 11 year old. This child thrives on routine. Every night before bed he chooses his clothing for the next day. He cannot sleep if he doesn't do this. If something he needs has to be washed he cannot sleep until he knows it is out of the dryer and placed with his other clothes for the day.
If he does something one way he must always do it that way. His many pair of shoes (because they need to match his clothes or he has trouble with that) neatly line his closet.
Like most 11 year olds he is self centered at times. He molds himself into the environment he is in so that he feels he belongs. He identifies what people like about him and accentuates that.
He leaves the house at the EXACT same time everyday to catch the bus. Not a minute too soon or too late. Changing his routine is not an option.
Yesterday morning he forget self and was a hero.
He walked to the bus stop and when he reached the corner, there stood a toddler, alone no adult near.
Cameron; Where is your mommy?
Toddler; I am lost.
Cameron; Where do you live?
Toddler; I am lost.
Cameron; What is you name?
Toddler; Maxton
Cameron; Oh I know where you live, take my hand and I will take you there.
So Cameron left the comfort of his routine- not worried about missing his bus, and at 7am walked several houses down the street to safely return this toddler to his mother. Cameron rang the doorbell and a sleepy, pajama clad mama came to the door unaware her child was missing.
This could have turned out with an unhappy ending, but a little hero came out and was selfless.
Carrying the traits of a hero can be admirable however it is coming forward to display them that is important. Initiative is an important trait in a hero. Someone who comes forward in adversity is a true hero.
I know there are many different levels of heroism. Cameron didn't catch a bad guy or fight a fire. He didn't rescue someone from drowning or from a pack of viscous dogs. He didn't search through rubble for victims of a tornado.
What he did do was think first of someone else without regard for self.
He returned a child to the safety of his mothers arms.
He calmed the little guys fears.
He took his hand and led him home.
There are heroes among us, they may be in your home.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Mothers of Ancient times or modern day- we are all in the "hood"
While today we view Mothers day as a Hallmark holiday in the beginning of times it was anything but hallmark worthy.
Ancient times
In the early years of the Roman Empire, women had little power: they were expected to be mothers and run household tasks. Infertility was grounds for a divorce. Women did not have a choice between having children or not, and also were not able to overrule the husband if he wanted to get rid of a newborn. After birth, babies were placed at the father’s feet. If he picked the child up, he “recognized” it as his, but if he left it where it was, the child was left to die by exposure. Later, as women gained economic power, Roman mothers exercised a genuine influence over family decisions.
Medieval times
Women generally had 4-6 pregnancies over the course of twenty childbearing years. With a high rate of miscarriages and still births, women were either pregnant or nursing for most of their adult lifespan. (Up until the 18th century, 25% of children born in England died in their first year.)
For women of all social classes, raising a son to adulthood was the only means of securing their own support in old age.
Early modern motherhood
Motherhood in early modern times has been described as “nasty, brutish, and far from short” – like Medieval women, early modern women spent about fifteen years either pregnant or nursing their children. Mothers wrapped their children in swaddling bands, thought to make limbs grow strong and straight. There are some accounts of peasant mothers hanging their swaddled babies on hooks to keep them out of the way while the women performed their exhausting amount of daily chores. Babies were also carried out to the fields and placed near where their mothers worked, sometimes secured in trees.
Industrial Revolution
While motherhood usually refers to the direct personal care aspects of mothering, the woman’s ability to contribute to the income of the household can also be considered a form of motherhood. So, it’s natural to expect that an economic force like the Industrial Revolution would reshape the role and perception of motherhoodkey in upgrading motherhood to a teaching position. Protestantism held that mothers were expected to read the Bible to their children, and to instruct their children in reading and religious knowledge. Of course, women were still restricted from official positions in the church, and many women in lower social classes remained illiterate, but the foundations of women as educators were laid.1930's
The 1930s marked a radical shift in family structure and the ideals of family life: a ‘good’ mother did not work, and women who did pursue careers were stigmatized as selfish women, devoid of a proper maternal instinct and nature. The Great Depression only furthered the need for a mother to keep the family together, while the man was out trying to provide for his family.
1940's
The role of mothers became even more crucial and demanding with husbands and sons off to war. The war years caused most families incredible hardship. Around five million war widows were left alone to cook, clean, and care for the children. Making up for the workforce lost overseas, many women were also trying to hold down factory jobs which demanded long hours. Stresses and strains of separation and war trauma caused a spike in the divorce rate after the war.
1950's
Marriage and birth rates soared at the end of the war, and women were again placed in charge of housekeeping and raising the family. The 1950s encouraged the ideal of the ‘stable’ and ‘model’ family and the American Dream. The ideal family, judging from the advertisements, blurbs, and social pressures of our time, is also one that it is constantly endeavoring to raise its standard of living by security better houses, automobiles, education, radio and television sets, and in a not too aggressive fashion by attempting to climb the social ladder with all of its neat class stratifications.
1960's
Most American women in the Sixties were mothers and housewives, volunteering at churches and PTAs. Business and politics remained almost exclusively controlled by men. Women did start to work more outside of the home, but those who did were still in the minority.In a huge leap forward for women’s choice in having children.
1970's
Another significant change occurring in the family structure was the role of the mother. Whereas her responsibility and duty had been based solely in the care and upbringing of her child, the role of ‘educator’ was now being relegated to professionals. Children as young as two and three years old were sent to pre-schools, allowing mothers to pursue careers as well as have a family.
Over the many span of years covered here the common thread is motherhood.
To me the word alone offers a suggestion of a common bond a belonging, a "hood".
Being a mother for 31 years now has allowed me to hold a position of high esteem. Our children are chosen for us, be it through birth or adoption and HE who chooses them for us is only loaning them to us. If I borrow something from someone I am careful to be especially mindful that it isn't mine to do with what I wish, it belongs to someone else. So it is with your children. The Lord gives them to us and the Lords takes them away.
This gift I was given, the honor or motherhood is one I cherish each day.
I try to take care of these gifts with my whole heart being careful not to mistreat, take advantage, or discount them in anyway. You see I did not become a mother through any powers of my own they were given to me and through HIS grace and mercy I would like to keep them!
To Mike, Ashley and Cameron
I wanted you more than you will ever know,
so I sent love to follow wherever you go.
It's high as you wish it. It's quick as an elf.
You'll never outgrow it..... it stretches itself.
So climb any mountain....
climb up to the sky!
My love will find you my love can fly!
Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!
My love will find you . My love can swim.
It never get's lost, never fades, never ends...............
If your working.....
or playing.....
or sitting with friends.
You can dance til you're dizzy............
paint til you're blue.....
There's no place, not one,
that my love can't find you.
And if someday you're lonely,
or someday you're sad,
or you strike out at baseball,
or think you've been bad....
Just lift up you're face, feel the wind in your hair.
That's me my sweet babies, my love is right there.
In the green of the grass....
in the smell of the sea.. in the clouds floating by...
at the top of a tree... in the sound crickets make
at the end of the day...
you are loved. You are loved. you are loved, they all say.
My love is so high, and so wide and so deep, it's always right there, even
when you're asleep.
So hold you're head high
and don't be afraid to
march to the front of
your own parade.
If you're still my small babe,
or you're all the way grown,
my promise to you is
you're never alone.
You are my angels, my darlings,
my stars.... and my Love will find you
wherever you are.
Friday, May 10, 2013
Lola and Giuseppe - You got it!
Do you ever have one of those experiences that you know you will never forget?
You know the ones where you want everyone who means anything to you to also experience.
Tonight was one of those times for me.
We decided to try someplace different to eat so we drove to a nearby town and spotted a small restaurant with Italian cuisine. Lola and Giuseppes.
From the moment we walked in the door I felt like I was in not out. What I mean is I was that comfortable, I felt like I was home.
Enter in and here comes Lola "welcome to my place, you new here?"
The room we are in has only 8 tables. We are seated beside a couple , I mean beside a couple. Within seconds this couple reaches out their hands to introduce themselves and began talking like old friends. Obvious very loyal customers they proceeded to tell us about every dish on the menu. Lola walked over to their table to hand them a lemon dessert drink in very small glasses. Before Lola handed them the glasses she held them before them and said "To love and friendship and good health".
The gentleman took a sip and handed his glass to my husband and said here try this. Who. Does. That? Drinking out of the same cup as a stranger?
Before I knew what was happening, my husbands hand toppled over my full glass of ice water. It quickly ran a over my pants, chair, the floor and obviously the table. Now all of that is not so exciting or maybe even unusual but an important element none the less. This women we just met, the wife to the man who shared his drink- she jumped up and took their linen napkins as well as others and began wiping my lap, and the table, and tossed napkins down on the floor she proceeded to go into the kitchen and yes she is a customer and yes she came out of the kitchen with a mop!
So we are now about 15 minutes into our experience. Lola was a love. We decided what we wanted. ordered. When Lola came by to see if we were ok? I said "I love it and we don't even have our food yet" "Oh you so sweet" she says.
We learned Lola and Giuseppe have been in the business 7 years.
We ate our food and it was superb.
The customer service was superb!
I was on stimulation overload. I felt so warm I did not want to leave.
On my left there was a table of 3 women who drove from Marysville!!! just to eat there based on the reviews that were written on the Internet.
A man in his 20's walked in and Lola greeted him as she does everyone and she said this. You were here a year ago! He said yes I was, look hear I have our picture and he pulls out his phone and shows her their picture. Who does that? Lola does.
I told Lola I wanted my picture taken with her and she said oh honey let me get my lipstick. This woman was so beautiful inside there was no shade of lipstick needed to improve her image.
"Lola, I said. Do you know what a blog is?" "No I don't even know how to turn one on" she knew it was something on a computer. I explained to her what it was and that I enjoyed blogging and that I was going to blog about her an Giuseppe. Her eyes widened. You see to her she was doing nothing extraordinary but extraordinary she was. She said "You mean I am going to be all over the world?" I said "yes, you could be" "let me see that picture of us, I look awful"
"I put my arms around this 70 plus year old lady and said Lola you are beautiful, and you got it." She said you know we have never spent a dime on advertising. You know they don't need to.
We hugged and I promised to return and she said bring your friends- and friends you will not want to miss this.
Me and Lola
So if you are not yet sold, let me introduce Giuseppe. We walk out the door and I have this feeling like I don't want to leave. The kind of feeling you get when you are saying goodbye to family. Well out walks Giuseppe, Lola's husband. He didn't know how I was feeling, however he said this to me. " Don't go, let us sit here and talk." Really am I here or having some out of body experience?
First he wants to know how we came about coming to their place. He then wanted to make sure we enjoyed. "Enjoyed, I said I don't want to leave". He laughed and said "there is a little bed in the back you can have that".
He was clearly right from Italy with the charming accent and smile. As we talked I learned;
"I come from Italy when I was a little boy of 24, he laughs. I work all my life , every day. I am 78 and I still work 7 days a week, 12-14 hours a day. We LOVE what we do. We both love to cook. Lola she loves to do the sweets, you know the pastries. Come into her little sweet room where she makes things, oh she has so many trinkets. You know we sometimes put on the gloves and go at it but there is no one like Lola. She loves the people, she go around and talk to everyone, me not so much."
I ask if Lola is from Italy, he smiles and his eyes twinkle. "No she a French women" and again that infectious laugh.
He shares a story of taking Lola back to Italy once. He shares his love for this country. As we are getting ready to go he says. Italy is beautiful but this is my home. Well Giuseppe we are so glad that it is. I walked away with so much more than just a full belly. My heart was full.
Me and the charming Giuseppe.
You know the ones where you want everyone who means anything to you to also experience.
Tonight was one of those times for me.
We decided to try someplace different to eat so we drove to a nearby town and spotted a small restaurant with Italian cuisine. Lola and Giuseppes.
From the moment we walked in the door I felt like I was in not out. What I mean is I was that comfortable, I felt like I was home.
Enter in and here comes Lola "welcome to my place, you new here?"
The room we are in has only 8 tables. We are seated beside a couple , I mean beside a couple. Within seconds this couple reaches out their hands to introduce themselves and began talking like old friends. Obvious very loyal customers they proceeded to tell us about every dish on the menu. Lola walked over to their table to hand them a lemon dessert drink in very small glasses. Before Lola handed them the glasses she held them before them and said "To love and friendship and good health".
The gentleman took a sip and handed his glass to my husband and said here try this. Who. Does. That? Drinking out of the same cup as a stranger?
Before I knew what was happening, my husbands hand toppled over my full glass of ice water. It quickly ran a over my pants, chair, the floor and obviously the table. Now all of that is not so exciting or maybe even unusual but an important element none the less. This women we just met, the wife to the man who shared his drink- she jumped up and took their linen napkins as well as others and began wiping my lap, and the table, and tossed napkins down on the floor she proceeded to go into the kitchen and yes she is a customer and yes she came out of the kitchen with a mop!
So we are now about 15 minutes into our experience. Lola was a love. We decided what we wanted. ordered. When Lola came by to see if we were ok? I said "I love it and we don't even have our food yet" "Oh you so sweet" she says.
We learned Lola and Giuseppe have been in the business 7 years.
We ate our food and it was superb.
The customer service was superb!
I was on stimulation overload. I felt so warm I did not want to leave.
On my left there was a table of 3 women who drove from Marysville!!! just to eat there based on the reviews that were written on the Internet.
A man in his 20's walked in and Lola greeted him as she does everyone and she said this. You were here a year ago! He said yes I was, look hear I have our picture and he pulls out his phone and shows her their picture. Who does that? Lola does.
I told Lola I wanted my picture taken with her and she said oh honey let me get my lipstick. This woman was so beautiful inside there was no shade of lipstick needed to improve her image.
"Lola, I said. Do you know what a blog is?" "No I don't even know how to turn one on" she knew it was something on a computer. I explained to her what it was and that I enjoyed blogging and that I was going to blog about her an Giuseppe. Her eyes widened. You see to her she was doing nothing extraordinary but extraordinary she was. She said "You mean I am going to be all over the world?" I said "yes, you could be" "let me see that picture of us, I look awful"
"I put my arms around this 70 plus year old lady and said Lola you are beautiful, and you got it." She said you know we have never spent a dime on advertising. You know they don't need to.
We hugged and I promised to return and she said bring your friends- and friends you will not want to miss this.
Me and LolaSo if you are not yet sold, let me introduce Giuseppe. We walk out the door and I have this feeling like I don't want to leave. The kind of feeling you get when you are saying goodbye to family. Well out walks Giuseppe, Lola's husband. He didn't know how I was feeling, however he said this to me. " Don't go, let us sit here and talk." Really am I here or having some out of body experience?
First he wants to know how we came about coming to their place. He then wanted to make sure we enjoyed. "Enjoyed, I said I don't want to leave". He laughed and said "there is a little bed in the back you can have that".
He was clearly right from Italy with the charming accent and smile. As we talked I learned;
"I come from Italy when I was a little boy of 24, he laughs. I work all my life , every day. I am 78 and I still work 7 days a week, 12-14 hours a day. We LOVE what we do. We both love to cook. Lola she loves to do the sweets, you know the pastries. Come into her little sweet room where she makes things, oh she has so many trinkets. You know we sometimes put on the gloves and go at it but there is no one like Lola. She loves the people, she go around and talk to everyone, me not so much."
I ask if Lola is from Italy, he smiles and his eyes twinkle. "No she a French women" and again that infectious laugh.
He shares a story of taking Lola back to Italy once. He shares his love for this country. As we are getting ready to go he says. Italy is beautiful but this is my home. Well Giuseppe we are so glad that it is. I walked away with so much more than just a full belly. My heart was full.
Me and the charming Giuseppe.Sunday, May 5, 2013
Feelings of regret turns to disguised blessings
I have not felt well for several days so as I was heading into the weekend I found myself wishing I was running from third base and ready to slide into the weekend...........SAFE!
However I had committed myself to two things and felt that it was important not to disappoint those involved.
The first commitment was to my 11 year old son. We planned on going out to eat, which held no appeal to me right now and we planned on going to the movie 42- The true story based on the life of Jackie Robinson the first African American to play major league baseball.
The movie itself was awesome, definitely one I would watch again but watching it with my adopted son who happens to be African American stirred many emotions. I am sitting here watching a movie where the entire story line is based on racism, and I represent the race that caused me to feel shame.
There were parts that were tough to see, there were parts when his eyes were riveted on the screen, and there were parts when I knew he felt the pain that Jackie Robinson felt.
As we were leaving I asked him if he liked the movie and his simple quiet response was "some parts I liked and some parts I really did not like"
We later had a conversation that went like this;
Cam- Mom do you know how many birth siblings I have?
Me- I do you have 3 older and 2 younger.
Cam- Do I look like my birth mom?
Me- Well son I only saw her once, but I remember her being very tall.
Cam- I want to see her. I don't want a relationship with her I just want to see her.
Me- Why do you think you might want to do that?
Cam- I want her to see who I am. The next time anyone says anything to me about being adopted I am going to say "my parents chose me" "With Mike and Ashley you gave birth and were stuck with them, but you chose me"
Me- Yes son I did- without regret!
Yes this commitment I was regretting turned into an evening of blessings.
Regret #2
I had committed to working for hospice at a children's camp for the day and when I woke Saturday still not feeling well I thought why can I never say no! I was assigned to a 6 year old boy named Airon. I arrived and waited around for his arrival and as soon as he came in I knew it was him. I was not expecting an active little boy however after only a minute or two I thought to myself I will never be able to handle him today. He was a challenge for about 45 minutes and then I did a trust building activity with me and the monster in him melted away and he had the face of an angel.
He was an angry little boy when he came in and rightfully so but he accomplished something that few adults can do in that short period of time. Think about a time when you met someone new, were they immediately your best friend? Did you tell them your innermost secrets? It isn't likely that you trusted them after the first meeting. No, relationships take time but maybe not for someone who knows how quickly time passes and can be over.
This little boy who was so filled with anger opened up to me about death, and life and goodbyes. We made a picture frame for his mom to keep a picture of him in and on it he put stickers of all the things he likes and that make him happy. He trusted me with his story.
As I watched him walk away at the end of the day I knew he was no longer angry that he had come and I knew that this was yet another blessing that earlier I saw as a regret.
Thank you Lord for disguising our Blessings and opening my eyes.
However I had committed myself to two things and felt that it was important not to disappoint those involved.
The first commitment was to my 11 year old son. We planned on going out to eat, which held no appeal to me right now and we planned on going to the movie 42- The true story based on the life of Jackie Robinson the first African American to play major league baseball.
The movie itself was awesome, definitely one I would watch again but watching it with my adopted son who happens to be African American stirred many emotions. I am sitting here watching a movie where the entire story line is based on racism, and I represent the race that caused me to feel shame.
There were parts that were tough to see, there were parts when his eyes were riveted on the screen, and there were parts when I knew he felt the pain that Jackie Robinson felt.
As we were leaving I asked him if he liked the movie and his simple quiet response was "some parts I liked and some parts I really did not like"
We later had a conversation that went like this;
Cam- Mom do you know how many birth siblings I have?
Me- I do you have 3 older and 2 younger.
Cam- Do I look like my birth mom?
Me- Well son I only saw her once, but I remember her being very tall.
Cam- I want to see her. I don't want a relationship with her I just want to see her.
Me- Why do you think you might want to do that?
Cam- I want her to see who I am. The next time anyone says anything to me about being adopted I am going to say "my parents chose me" "With Mike and Ashley you gave birth and were stuck with them, but you chose me"
Me- Yes son I did- without regret!
Yes this commitment I was regretting turned into an evening of blessings.
Regret #2
I had committed to working for hospice at a children's camp for the day and when I woke Saturday still not feeling well I thought why can I never say no! I was assigned to a 6 year old boy named Airon. I arrived and waited around for his arrival and as soon as he came in I knew it was him. I was not expecting an active little boy however after only a minute or two I thought to myself I will never be able to handle him today. He was a challenge for about 45 minutes and then I did a trust building activity with me and the monster in him melted away and he had the face of an angel.
He was an angry little boy when he came in and rightfully so but he accomplished something that few adults can do in that short period of time. Think about a time when you met someone new, were they immediately your best friend? Did you tell them your innermost secrets? It isn't likely that you trusted them after the first meeting. No, relationships take time but maybe not for someone who knows how quickly time passes and can be over.
This little boy who was so filled with anger opened up to me about death, and life and goodbyes. We made a picture frame for his mom to keep a picture of him in and on it he put stickers of all the things he likes and that make him happy. He trusted me with his story.
As I watched him walk away at the end of the day I knew he was no longer angry that he had come and I knew that this was yet another blessing that earlier I saw as a regret.
Thank you Lord for disguising our Blessings and opening my eyes.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
It's what's inside that counts, not what covers us.
We come into the world automatically entering into a relationship. You are now someones child and you will grow to understand the relationship of parent and child. It may or may not be the best relationship you will ever have.
Some of the strongest relationships we will ever build in this lifetime are our friendships. As we grow the shape of our friendships change.
Friends become the people who help us through life. They may be long-lasting, meaningful friendships or they may be what we call fair weathered friends.
How do we determine who is a friend?
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have multiple friends at multiple levels of friendship. I have friends where our relationship is built on mutual trust and reliability, the friend that you can tell anything to and know that it is safe in theirmouth mind. The friend you turn to when things are bad, the friend you turn to when things are good. This Friend will hold your hand, let you blubber cry on her shoulder but if you want to count on this Friend you must be the same for her.
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare
My friends don't have to agree with me or the decsions I make and I even prefer them to tell me if they don't, that is what is beautiful just the simple act of being there. The uncanny way they may have of knowing just when you need that phone call, or card or text.
“Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.” – Sicilian proverb
Or more importantly when you have spinach in your teeth. The friend/relationship that is refreshing for me is the one who tells you the truths, the one that keeps you on the straight and narrow when you are only able to see the curves up ahead. This relationship tells me- "I want what's right for you so let me help you think straight when you are not able"
As different as people are most of us want the same things. When we look at the exterior of someone we all look different however on the inside we are all the same.
I recently heard Dr Benjamin Carson; director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins University put it this way.
When asked why he doesn't speak more about his race ( he is African American) he stated "because I am a neurosurgeon" "You see when I open a skull and remove the bones I see the same brain in everyone and that makes us who we are, what covers us does not".
How much easier would friendships/relationships be if we could all see as clearly. You don't have to be a neurosurgeon to know we all look different from outside appearances but we all have the need to have, and be a friend.
Some of the strongest relationships we will ever build in this lifetime are our friendships. As we grow the shape of our friendships change.
Friends become the people who help us through life. They may be long-lasting, meaningful friendships or they may be what we call fair weathered friends.
How do we determine who is a friend?
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I have multiple friends at multiple levels of friendship. I have friends where our relationship is built on mutual trust and reliability, the friend that you can tell anything to and know that it is safe in their
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare
My friends don't have to agree with me or the decsions I make and I even prefer them to tell me if they don't, that is what is beautiful just the simple act of being there. The uncanny way they may have of knowing just when you need that phone call, or card or text.
“Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.” – Sicilian proverb
Or more importantly when you have spinach in your teeth. The friend/relationship that is refreshing for me is the one who tells you the truths, the one that keeps you on the straight and narrow when you are only able to see the curves up ahead. This relationship tells me- "I want what's right for you so let me help you think straight when you are not able"
As different as people are most of us want the same things. When we look at the exterior of someone we all look different however on the inside we are all the same.
I recently heard Dr Benjamin Carson; director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins University put it this way.
When asked why he doesn't speak more about his race ( he is African American) he stated "because I am a neurosurgeon" "You see when I open a skull and remove the bones I see the same brain in everyone and that makes us who we are, what covers us does not".
How much easier would friendships/relationships be if we could all see as clearly. You don't have to be a neurosurgeon to know we all look different from outside appearances but we all have the need to have, and be a friend.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
Every drop has a purpose