Pass the Turkey, potatoes and bread of life please.

Last year for the month of November each day leading up to Thanksgiving I listed something I was thankful for.  This year I took the challenge again.  Most of us can compare lists and they may be seemingly identical.

1. We are thankful for our health.
2. Our family
3. Our jobs
4. Our homes.

A few days ago I was disturbed when I heard the very familiar Christmas song, Santa Clause is coming tonight.  I am in no way anti-Santa however when the line said "Let's give thanks to the Lord above because Santa clause comes tonight, I was sad to think that on Christmas eve that is what one would be giving thanks for.

This year as I reflected on my journey of 2013 I came at it from another perspective, one that should flow more natural than the ordinary daily thanks we have.

I find it interesting that when you are in a circle of Christian friends and the question is asked "What are you most thankful for" there comes a silence.  Again that common realities and gratitude we all share are easily shared without much reflection in our answers.  I suspect it is because we don't live in a society that prompts us to ponder the generosity of God very often.

Thanksgiving is quickly being squeezed between Halloween and Christmas becoming nothing more than a day to feast and make shopping lists for Black Friday.

This month as I began to reflect I challenged myself to think of Gods generosity.

I am thankful for the believers he has put in my path.  Those who feed my soul, who teach me truths, truths I want to know before I meet the author of all truth.

I am thankful for the privilege to share this Christ- life journey with so many believers. Their spiritual maturity challenges me.

I am thankful for those I worship with, many with humble character, the living out of their faith evident to fellow believers and non-believers alike.  I am filled each time I see the truths of God translated in those living truths.

I am thankful for the word and all the truths it teaches.  I am thankful that the Lord chose me to fall in love with.  I am thankful that it is by His grace and not my works that I will spend eternity with him.

I began to think about the physical fullness we all likely will feel on Thanksgiving. I wondered how many of us will be as concerned about our spiritual fullness.  Will we do our daily devotions and call it good for the day or will be too busy for that?

I know that I will likely eat more than the feast served at dinner time, revisiting the kitchen for the much loved left overs, but will I revisit the spiritual cupboard?

Philippians 4:11-12

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Paul says "both to be full and hungry"

Philippians 4:18-19

I have received full payment and even more; I am amply supplied, now that I have received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent.  They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice. pleasing to God.  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in Glory by Christ Jesus.

Paul looks at the whole picture seeing how God has worked through everything and would supply the needs for those at Philippi.  Paul was not making a list, he examined the whole of how God was working and supplying and Paul was full.

I really don't think there is anything wrong with making out lists of what we are thankful for (in fact 2 worldly things that made my list- Hot soup and my Hot tub)I just didn't feel challenged enough, I didn't feel "full".  The obvious would always be on my list leaving out those which require more thought, dedication and discipline to be a follower of Christ.  When you see a beautiful sunset and you are thankful for it, extend your true thanks to Christ.

Being a follower requires us to be thankful for the things that we never put on our lists.  personally I have never made a list with suffering on it.  Have I suffered? Yes.  Paul said "to suffer need".  We put those things at the back of our thoughts and never on our lists but that is how God takes care of us.  It is those times that we should be most thankful, those times we should feel most Blessed the Lord is in the center of our suffering and our needs when I put that into perspective I am so thankful.

How full are you?

When you sit down this thanksgiving will you serve rolls or will you serve the bread of life?

Do NOT wait until Christmas to open

As a child, it is likely we can all identify with the numerous times we had heard or read "Do not open till Christmas".  I know for me it left an excitement of anticipation.  It leads us down the road of wonder.   I wonder what it is, I wonder who it's from, I wonder what is so special about it that directions are attached to NOT open.

Each year I prepare for the Christmas season with every one's wish list.  While I do find joy in fulfilling the lists it brings me greater joy in making a gift.  The thought behind my gifts are really nothing extraordinary.  After my Children were grown and married I made them each a shadow box, in it I put their christening outfits and a picture of them wearing it and then wrote what they meant to me.  Another year I took my sons Old rusted Tonka truck and sanded it down and repainted it again and attached a picture of him when he was a child sitting in his truck.  Sappy but that's me and I know that it means a lot to them. 

This year the lists came in and no one had 1. A sappy, sentimental gift from mom.  BUT I know if I don't have one they will miss it.  These are the gifts I am most excited for them to open.  These are the ones that are worthy of the "Do not open till Christmas tag". 

After I decided what I was going to do- (sorry can't tell you yet) I took great joy in the doing.  Whenever I work on these projects I am filled with an overwhelming love.  Recently I was working on them and I thought about God and his gifts.  I thought how ironic that our gift giving is so secretive, and His is so filled with promise.

I started thinking about the season and the true meaning and I wondered how many people do not know of that promise.  The Bible is full of verses about His Gifts, yet for many it stays closed like those, "Do not open till Christmas" gifts. Some May bring him out on the Sunday before Christmas when they go to a services to "get in the spirit" or choose a church to go for a Christmas eve services because it is tradition.  At Christmas dinner they may even say a prayer. At the end of the day He is quietly packed away in the "Do not open till Christmas box" to be opened again the following year. 

I felt sad that the greatest gift anyone of us can ever receive is a gift not always accepted.

The bible is filled with Gifts from our father;
 
James 1:17
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Ephesians 2:8
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

Romans 12:6
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them
         

 Romans 8: 38-39 (The gift here is so obvious, NOTHING can separate us from the gift of His love)
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

      Galatians 2:20
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (The ultimate gift, He gave his life for us.)

These gifts here, they are not meant to be unopened until Christmas.  There is excitement in getting HIS gifts everyday. 

Accept this gift with a card attached "Please open before Christmas".

Do Not Wait till Christmas to open!

Let God write your Blueprints

Blue Print- A plan or guide: A plan of action or a guide to doing something.
 
How often is it that we try to write our own life's blueprint?  For me I do it on a daily basis.  I write it, yet when it doesn't work out I don't always own the responsibility.  Time and again, when the truth is revealed we are surprised at how much better HIS plan for us is.

We have been planning a hiking trip to the UP for several months with a group of hikers from our church.  I have been looking forward to this trip so much, so when I started a new job I was very disappointed that I was not able to get the time off work.  The visions I had on how I would efficiently prepare my pack suddenly were empty.  The excitement I had over nurturing current friendships and building new ones was suddenly deflated.  My desires to see some amazing new scenery that God provided for us was soon replaced with sadness.

However God didn't forget what was important to me.  10 days before my supposed trip, my son and daughter in law called to remind me they would be flying to Maryland for his 10th year reunion at the US Naval Academy in Annapolis.  "We would really like you to come this weekend".  I quickly thought about how I could make this work, knowing my husband was still going on the hiking trip.  I hung up and took action.  Lined up a dog sitter.  Arranged to work my 40 hours in and be able to leave work early Friday to drive the 6.5 hour drive.  My spirits were lifted and though I still wished for the hiking trip I had   been given an opportunity for a visit with my son and his family.  Not something often done with them living in California.

I entered the weekend with no other expectations than to enjoy time spent, and to love on my 7 month old grandson.  Again I underestimated God's plan for me.

Arriving Friday night I met my son and family at a luau being held for his reunion.  Uneventful.  Saturday we went to the Academy and walked the grounds, allowing my son to walk the yard now as a ranked officer and not a midshipman.  We shared memories of the struggles, and joys while being a student at the Academy.  As parents I think we are always amazed at the adult transformation that takes place in our children.  At 32 I still see them in my son.  God gives me glimpses and I take each one to heart.

One such moment- He and I walked into Memorial hall,  a beautiful are where Midshipman who have lost their lives since the beginning of the Academy's history in 1845 are honored.  A solemn place that  commands respect.  We walked to the class of 2003 where 2 of his fellow Midshipman were listed, he lifted his Alumni badge and placed it over their names and said "class of 2003- baby"  my eyes filled up at the tender moment he shared for them.

We walked to the football stadium where he attended a tailgating party for his class and then we attended the game together.  Attending a Navy football game is not like an ordinary game.  The patriotic environment is moving.  Seeing the entire Midshipman in their white uniforms sitting together as one.  Watching all the Plebes (freshman) together go to the end of the field with each touchdown and do push-ups to the sum of the current score.  I think this may have solidified Cameron's decision not to attend the academy .

Sunday we arrived at the beautiful chapel at the Academy, and this is why I think God sent me this weekend.

We slipped in towards the back.  During the morning greeting the couple who sat in front of us turned to greet us. Striking up a quick conversation they learned that Mike was from the class of 2003.  They said their son was as well, and then they said but he didn't graduate.  During his Junior year he and his parents went to a Christian camp in the redwood forest.  While they were driving home they were struck by a drunk driver and he was killed. They turned around as the service continued and my heart was heavy for them.  I sat next to my son and his family and could not imagine the devastation of losing him.

During the service we sang Amazing Grace and I watched the tears roll down the fathers face.  At the completion of the service as is every Sunday we sang the Naval Hymn.  I watched the young man's father close his eyes and take a deep breath as the last line was sung "for those at Peril on the sea", his yes closed and his cheeks wet with tears, I wanted to reach out to him.

At the conclusion they immediately turned around and shared more of their story.  The woman looked at my grandson Alden with longing in her eyes.  I know she wondered if he own son might be a dad now.  She reached out her arms and asked if she could hold him.  They talked to my son and I felt like they were thirsty for a connection to their son.  To our amazement they shared they only lived an hour from them in California.  They immediately shared their contact information longing for, I am sure any relationship that connects them to the life their son lived.  I don't share my children with just anyone but if this helped ease their shattered heart a bit I will share abundantly.  This can only be a God planned unity.

As we walked out of the church and said our goodbyes, the mother reached out to embrace me.  We went our separate ways, me with my family intact to enjoy the rest of the day and them, they were going to the cemetery on the grounds to visit their son.  I came to the reunion to visit my son, they came to honor theirs.

I may not have hiked the trails of the UP.  I did not see the beautiful vistas ,but watching my son and the way he stood during the National Anthem, and then the singing of his Alma Mater.  That's a vision I am glad God wrote into my weekend blueprint.

Are you your childs friend?

I think I represent what most parents, at one time or another feel about being a friend to their child.  The initial thought is that friend is such an endearing term and I want my child to really like me!  For me this thought lasted a nano-second. 

Tonight's thoughts are coming from a discussion that I had this evening with my 12 year old.  We are in the infant stages of peer pressure and trying to help him choose wisely with friendships, talking about bullying and identifying for him the characters he thinks should be in a friend.  

I walked away reminded of something that was said to me by a wise older gentleman in a church I attended when my now adult children were very young.  I was a new single mom and he said "The best thing you can do for your children is discipline them when needed, it is not your job to be their best friend".

In the natural order of things, parents and children love each other.  When our children are infants we have the emotional role- we sing to them, touch them, comfort them, and the functional role is feeding them, changing them, keeping them safe and healthy.  The emotional and functional role goes hand in hand.  One without the other is not a healthy balance.

As our children grow older, our role becomes more functional. Coming from someone who embraces motherhood to the fullest this was hard to separate. I have learned that I can still feel the emotions but I have to do more not show more. What I mean is that I can't let my emotions translate into something that conflicts with my function.  As our children age so does our functional role. As a young child or toddler we are likely performing the function, a 7 year old we may be enforcing a homework rule, with a young teen who may be driving we are enforcing those rules and expectations.

The words I write may sound easy but the task is not.  I have to keep myself on tract on a daily basis.  I believe that parents cannot use their children as their confidante.  Putting them on an even playing ground with you makes it more difficult to lead by example. 

If your adult friend shares with you a difficult co-worker that she has to deal with on a daily basis you may offer some suggestions OR you may chime in or agree with her while she express her negative feelings.  If we behaved the same way with our child it could look like this;

"I hate my teacher, we can't even have a water bottle in class" and you say

 "that does stink how would she like to be thirsty and not be able to drink"

Your child is not learning to respect adults or rules, but you can be sure he will feel like you are his friend.  

It is not always easy but it is always better if your child knows that you expect him/her to follow the rule even if we don't agree with it.

When we make our children our friends we are saying that we are both the decision makers.  

My emotions are still important to me and play a role in my responses however many times it is behind a closed door that I express them.  My children have all heard the same thing from me and their teachers have as well.  I will support you if my child is in the wrong and I will support any discipline that is deemed necessary and know that if my child is in the right I will support them.  I am after all still a mother bear. 

All hope is not lost you can be a friend to your child just a responsible one.  Your friend wouldn't let you do something that could cause you harm without warning you, your Friend would tell you if they thought you were heading for trouble,  be that kind of friend, the responsible one.  The model of responsible friendship is identical to the model of responsible parenting.

Don't empower your child by treating him as your confidante. 

That said I am now best friends with my adult children now 32 and 29- at times they are even my confidante.  If I was there best friend when they were growing children they would not be a best friend now.  That would be tragic.  

I am still a mushy mom who loves to love on her kids.  I fiercely protect them, support them and they know each day they are loved but what they know just as much is that I demand respect, and if they are in trouble from their own actions  I am not their best friend, but I am the mom who loves them through it, even if it is tough love.

Thank you God for giving me 3 beautiful children to love, it is only right that I try to do my best with them for you.  I fail often, however I never fail to love them like only a mother, not a friend can do. 

Levi's The real religion!

This has been a week of changes for me, some without any thought, some came as surprises, some by choice, some not so much.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the third week at my new job with a Hospice Service.  I am not surprised that I love it.  I am not surprised that I leave work feeling so thankful. I am not surprised that I have great compassion for those traveling the end of life journey. 

This week I spoke with a 55 yr old patient who was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 months ago.  She recently learned that it had metastasized to her brain, lung and lymph nodes.  Devastated and alone she attempted to take her life.  Her words to me, as she understood them "there is nothing more that can be done".  Reluctant to go under hospice care, because she is too overwhelmed and she is concerned that she will get too emotional,  I thought of her statement "There is nothing more that can be done".  What a great injustice if we really allow our patients to believe that.  There may be nothing left to do that will prolong her life or cure her illness but there is so much more that can be done. 

She expressed her anger and how she "Hates God" - That tells me that one thing that can be done is prayer, and service and witness to her.

We can't change the course of her illness or the symptoms she will face but there is so much to do to make her comfortable, to control her pain.  The resources for emotional support.  The chance for her to travel this journey in peace. 

 There is never nothing more that can be done.

Maybe this week I have just let myself be more "aware".  Maybe that awareness has led me to look at my life more closely. 
I was disturbed when I was in the mall and saw a large poster advertising Levi's and it stated- Levi's, the real religion.  I was sad for a generation who may believe that and for a company that sends that message.

So this week as I begin to examine myself and the messages my actions send, I sat in church today and found one thing I was doing that, today really bothered me. 

When our pastor asked us to turn to today's scripture, I grabbed my phone and pulled up the Bible electronically.  I am not saying this is wrong.  I even see some advantages as in, it is always with you.

I was distracted though by these thoughts.  My Bible has always been something that felt good to hold.  It held special notes, special bookmarks from friends.  I liked hearing the pages turn and remembering where a book in the Bible was located.  
It was a sacred book, one I turn to in time of need, when I want encouragement or to give encouragement.  When I want to learn more of God's word.
  
This device I held here though was my means of connection with everyone.  It was my phone, I could log into the Internet, check face book.  Today I thought, on my phone I sometimes sound upset, I may talk unkind, I may even gossip.  How can I use this same device for my Bible?

I realized that using my phone as my Bible was just to make things easier for me.  How sad for me, how selfish of me. You see when I read my Bible on my phone a call or a text will interrupt my reading.  This device is not sacred it is an electronic device that will soon be outdated. 

This is just for me- If it works for you then great.  I however will find comfort again when I open the Word and hear the lovely music of turning pages.  
















 

Aldens first Blog Post

Cousin Audrey keeps talking to me about this blog that Nana has and she was teasing me that at 5 months she herself wrote her 1st post so I better get busy.

This is me Alden Michael Krueger 

 

I first met my Nana just moments after my birth on January the 28th 2013. All I had to do was lay there, (which was a bit hard to balance since my legs would not lay down) and she cried. You are right cousin Audrey she is pretty sappy.

My Nana sang this song to me when I was just a couple of days old, I was crying and she began singing something about Grace being Amazing and whatever Grace is- it is amazing because even now 5 1/2 months later that song calms me right down.

You said Nana liked to tell stories and you are right she does.  My favorite though was when I was only a few days old.  I didn't want to sleep one night and mommy and daddy needed to rest.  Nana took me downstairs and she looked me in the eyes and said baby your mommy wanted you for so long.  she wanted to be a mommy more than anything.  She has done really well and will embrace motherhood.  Your daddy though, he was scared.  You see he didn't have a daddy growing up to teach him things daddy's teach.  He was afraid he would fail. Nana started crying again. (Hey cuz, does she do that a lot?) Then she chuckled and this was the funny part, she said you know your daddy said "how will I know what to do?", "will I just wake up someday and know this is the day I teach him the ABC'S?"  I don't know what they are so I am pretty sure that day hasn't come yet.  Then Nana thanked me.  She said Alden you proved your daddy wrong.  He does know how to be a daddy. I saw it in his eyes the moment he saw you, I saw determination on his face, I heard protectiveness in his words and I saw Love in his heart. Nana said. you see Alden, you made my son a daddy and no one else can do that.

This is my mommy and daddy.

 

This is me and Nana 

You are right cousin Audrey Nana loves it when we smile at her. It has been pretty profitable so far.

 

 

So I was warned about the photography and the outfits but just humor me will you?

 

 

This is me in an outfit that Nana's mommy made for daddy when he was a baby? I can't believe daddy was once a baby.  How did he grow so big?  I sure have alot to learn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is me with what Nana says is my blog thinking pose.

 

 

 

so after months of looking at each other through a little screen on something called Skype and listening to our parents brag about us, I finally got to meet you last month.  I love you cuz and you are right you are pretty cute but next time could you lay off the kisses a little bit. 

 

Anyway, so far you are keeping me up to speed on what I need to know and so I thank you for that.  I know I have a lot to learn but one thing is for sure we are 2 pretty lucky kids, I think Nana would give her life for us..... Oh wait a minute she just took over the keyboard.

You are right Alden and Audrey nana would.

Trail talk (amongst myself)

In the last couple of weeks I have done alot of walking/running and biking. 

Yesterday I told myself it was just the heat that was making me have a constant conversation with myself however I have not convinced that self yet.

Curiosity, nosy, judgemental? Why do we see people and draw conclusions about them ?  I was able to identify and classify people by just running by them.  There are many charachters represented on one trail!

There is the elderly couple who just leisurely walk and enjoy each other and the fact that they can still walk.

There are those training for a marathon;
Students readying themselves for track;
Mommies just wanting to get out;
Mid-life men who are trying to defy aging;
The perverted  strange camera man who is there EVERYDAY with his camera- how many bird pictures does one need?
Young families pushing strollers;
Bikers who are clearly strong bikers and bikers who are not;
And today a new group hit the trail, The real housewives of Reynoldsburg Ohio.

Strange maybe.
Seriously though I did have an opinion about every person I encountered.  It made me think about myself for a moment.  I even thought ok, am I initiating a morning greeting more often than the person I pass or am I just a responder?  Shamefully more often I was the responder.

What are they thinking about me?  Oh there goes the woman who has to match her shoes to her shorts. AND man they are bright.
Hey strange man with the camera if you are going to drag me in the woods and leave me there I am going to be sure to make it easy to be found.

See where our minds go?
What if this is what I saw?

People.  Beautiful people just doing what they love, want or need to do.  Nothing more, nothing less.

Still learning lessons

Have you ever wondered if there is an easier way to learns life's lessons than the hard way?

When we are kids, as we grow we learn how to play with others which leads us to learn how to get along with others. Through the stages of our growth we learn that life is not always fair and getting what we want does not always happen.  We learn how to belong . We discover there are consequences to our behaviors and for some that lesson is harder to get than for others.


As we become adults there are already so many lessons we have learned, some we accept some we do not which may lead to mistakes made.

We learn that what we knew of friendships may have been superficial.  After all as a child or young adult we may not have had an experience that warranted the testing of true friendships.  Our true friendships change the way they look.  It is no longer important to belong to the most popular group.  We don't have to be rich or attractive to be loved by others. We learn that true friends love us for who we really are even when we are being ugly. 

When life gets tough for me who do I want beside me? I want a friend who can tell me the truths even if the truth is not what I want to hear.  That is how we learn and trust and grow.  If someone loves me enough to tell me what is ugly about me and the next sentence they still show they love me, that is who I want by my side.


Our relationships are where we really learn about ourselves.
Friends bad things do happen to good people.  That is just the way life is.  It is how we learn to cope, recover and keep things in perspective that help us learn those life lessons quicker.  Sometimes we have to take some of the lessons we have learned and unlearn them along the way, you know the not so positive .

We are or maybe I should say I am always seraching for the meaning in our living.  I think we find it through our friendships, our sense of purpose, helping others, and our spirituality and for me mostly in my Faith.

I learned a tough lesson this week and it was one I thought I had already learned. I failed the lesson miserabley though.  But this is what I take away;

Relationships are not one sideded ( I knew this) but they may be driven by only 1 person.  What I mean is our relationships are where we really learn about ourselves.  If somone took my friendship for granted then I can not control their role in it but I can control mine. I have become more aware of my own strengths and vulnerabilities and while it takes more than one individual to make a relationship work we can really only control our part.

I am going to be who I am for me, who I am to others for them, and who I am as a child of God for HIM. 

What I hope anyone takes away from a friendship with me is loyalty, honesty and trust.  What they cannot take away is my sense of self I can promise, that lesson is one I have learned.

Tranquillity of mind- perfect or imperfect?

When our lives are interrupted by pain or a traumatic event it can seem like we are sliding into nowhere.  We may hide in a closet, we may look in a mirror and ask ourselves, what's next.  We may run away even if for a short time.  Eventually (unfortunately all too often it is eventual) we open the word and find comfort there.

When tragedy strikes the world be it a tragic event or force of nature, our lives come to a screeching halt.  Events that occur without or with little warning seem to be more difficult to emotionally manage.  Things which are out of our control are most difficult. We humans want to retain composure and figure out what to do after such an event.

With the recent tragic tornado that struck Moore Oklahoma most of us likely felt grief and sympathy for those in the direct path of disaster.  I watched, feeling so helpless but I also felt vulnerable to a loss of control in our lives.
Each day we face has the potential for threats and danger but we insulate ourselves as though we are guaranteed another day.  We find comfort in predictability then when life becomes anything but predictable we feel helpless.

Because we cannot live a life completely void of tragedy, or maybe just disappointments we can choose how we accept or move through the aftermath.  Valid emotions must be recognized and processed to find resolve within ourselves.  Finding a way to restore peace and a sense of balance to our lives.

I have experienced personal tragedies and I have witnessed tragedies of others.  While I firmly believe we all own our own emotions and have various ways of processing I equally believe there is only one way to restore peace be it personal or worldly.

Isaiah 26:3 tells us that God will keep us in “perfect peace” if our minds are “stayed” on Him, meaning our minds lean on Him, center on Him, and trust in Him. Our tranquility of mind is “perfect” or imperfect to the degree that the “mind is stayed on” God rather than ourselves or on our problems.

 Peace is experienced as we believe what the Bible says about God’s nearness as in Psalm 139:1-12, and about His goodness and power, His mercy and love for His children, and His complete sovereignty over all of life’s circumstances. But we can’t trust someone we don’t know, and it is crucial, therefore, to come to know intimately the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ.

I have found comfort in the word when I can accept that I have no control over the situation.  I first go through the human emotions and reactions but only when I allow myself to give up control (proverbs 3:5 Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight) Only then does that crooked, unclear path become a little straighter and clearer.

Do I always handle unsettling news gracefully? No I do not. What I am able to do eventually  (after I am human) is relinquish that control to the only truth.  Walking the path that leads me to the Lord is not taking the easy way out, it is taking the only way out.

There are heroes among us.

Where do we draw the line which separates the normal human being to a superhuman?

One really doesn't need to possess superhuman powers to entitle them to be labeled a hero. Doing something heroic doesn't change who you are, it defines who you are or better the qualities you possess.


Heroes are people who possess extraordinary traits of altruism or self-less concern for the well-being of others.

Common traits of a hero may look like this,

Selflessness
Conscience
Courage
Intelligence

Common traits of an 11 yr old may look like this,

Selfish/Self centered
Careless
Follower
Awkward

I want to share a story about an 11 year old.  This child thrives on routine.  Every night before bed he chooses his clothing for the next day.  He cannot sleep if he doesn't do this.  If something he needs has to be washed he cannot sleep until he knows it is out of the dryer and placed with his other clothes for the day.

If he does something one way he must always do it that way.  His many pair of shoes (because they need to match his clothes or he has trouble with that) neatly line his closet. 

Like most 11 year olds he is self centered at times.  He molds himself into the environment he is in so that he feels he belongs.  He identifies what people like about him and accentuates that.

He leaves the house at the EXACT same time everyday to catch the bus.  Not a minute too soon or too late. Changing his routine is not an option.

Yesterday morning he forget self and was a hero.

He walked to the bus stop and when he reached the corner, there stood a toddler, alone no adult near.

Cameron; Where is your mommy?
Toddler; I am lost.
Cameron; Where do you live?
Toddler; I am lost.
Cameron; What is you name?
Toddler; Maxton
Cameron; Oh I know where you live, take my hand and I will take you there.

So Cameron left the comfort of his routine- not worried about missing his bus, and at 7am walked several houses down the street to safely return this toddler to his mother.  Cameron rang the doorbell and a sleepy, pajama clad mama came to the door unaware her child was missing.

This could have turned out with an unhappy ending,  but a little hero came out and was selfless.

Carrying the traits of a hero can be admirable however it is coming forward to display them that is important.  Initiative is an important trait in a hero.  Someone who comes forward in adversity is a true hero.

I know there are many different levels of heroism. Cameron didn't catch a bad guy or fight a fire.  He didn't rescue someone from drowning or from a pack of viscous dogs.  He didn't search through rubble for victims of a tornado.

What he did do was think first of someone else without regard for self.

He returned a child to the safety of his mothers arms.
He calmed the little guys fears.
He took his hand and led him home.

There are heroes among us, they may be in your home.

Mothers of Ancient times or modern day- we are all in the "hood"

 

While today we view Mothers day as a Hallmark holiday in the beginning of times it was anything but hallmark worthy.

Ancient times

In the early years of the Roman Empire, women had little power: they were expected to be mothers and run household tasks. Infertility was grounds for a divorce. Women did not have a choice between having children or not, and also were not able to overrule the husband if he wanted to get rid of a newborn. After birth, babies were placed at the father’s feet. If he picked the child up, he “recognized” it as his, but if he left it where it was, the child was left to die by exposure. Later, as women gained economic power, Roman mothers exercised a genuine influence over family decisions.

Medieval times


Women generally had 4-6 pregnancies over the course of twenty childbearing years. With a high rate of miscarriages and still births, women were either pregnant or nursing for most of their adult lifespan. (Up until the 18th century, 25% of children born in England died in their first year.)
For women of all social classes, raising a son to adulthood was the only means of securing their own support in old age.



Early modern motherhood
Motherhood in early modern times has been described as “nasty, brutish, and far from short” – like Medieval women, early modern women spent about fifteen years either pregnant or nursing their children. Mothers wrapped their children in swaddling bands, thought to make limbs grow strong and straight. There are some accounts of peasant mothers hanging their swaddled babies on hooks to keep them out of the way while the women performed their exhausting amount of daily chores. Babies were also carried out to the fields and placed near where their mothers worked, sometimes secured in trees.


Industrial Revolution

While motherhood usually refers to the direct personal care aspects of mothering, the woman’s ability to contribute to the income of the household can also be considered a form of motherhood. So, it’s natural to expect that an economic force like the Industrial Revolution would reshape the role and perception of motherhoodkey in upgrading motherhood to a teaching position. Protestantism held that mothers were expected to read the Bible to their children, and to instruct their children in reading and religious knowledge. Of course, women were still restricted from official positions in the church, and many women in lower social classes remained illiterate, but the foundations of women as educators were laid.1930's
The 1930s marked a radical shift in family structure and the ideals of family life: a ‘good’ mother did not work, and women who did pursue careers were stigmatized as selfish women, devoid of a proper maternal instinct and nature. The Great Depression only furthered the need for a mother to keep the family together, while the man was out trying to provide for his family.

1940's
The role of mothers became even more crucial and demanding with husbands and sons off to war. The war years caused most families incredible hardship. Around five million war widows were left alone to cook, clean, and care for the children. Making up for the workforce lost overseas, many women were also trying to hold down factory jobs which demanded long hours. Stresses and strains of separation and war trauma caused a spike in the divorce rate after the war.

1950's
Marriage and birth rates soared at the end of the war, and women were again placed in charge of housekeeping and raising the family. The 1950s encouraged the ideal of the ‘stable’ and ‘model’ family and the American Dream.  The ideal family, judging from the advertisements, blurbs, and social pressures of our time, is also one that it is constantly endeavoring to raise its standard of living by security better houses, automobiles, education, radio and television sets, and in a not too aggressive fashion by attempting to climb the social ladder with all of its neat class stratifications.

1960's

Most American women in the Sixties were mothers and housewives, volunteering at churches and PTAs. Business and politics remained almost exclusively controlled by men. Women did start to work more outside of the home, but those who did were still in the minority.In a huge leap forward for women’s choice in having children.

1970's

Another significant change occurring in the family structure was the role of the mother. Whereas her responsibility and duty had been based solely in the care and upbringing of her child, the role of ‘educator’ was now being relegated to professionals. Children as young as two and three years old were sent to pre-schools, allowing mothers to pursue careers as well as have a family.

Over the many span of years covered here the common thread is motherhood.

To me the word alone offers a suggestion of a common bond a belonging, a "hood". 

 Being a mother for 31 years now has allowed me to hold a position of high esteem.  Our children are chosen for us, be it through birth or adoption and HE who chooses them for us is only loaning them to us.  If I borrow something from someone I am careful to be especially mindful that it isn't mine to do with what I wish, it belongs to someone else.  So it is with your children.  The Lord gives them to us and the Lords takes them away.

This gift I was given, the honor or motherhood is one I cherish each day.

I try to take care of these gifts with my whole heart being careful not to mistreat, take advantage, or discount them in anyway.  You see I did not become a mother through any powers of my own they were given to me and through HIS grace and mercy I would like to keep them!

To Mike, Ashley and Cameron

I wanted you more than you will ever know,
so I sent love to follow wherever you go.

It's high as you wish it. It's quick as an elf.
You'll never outgrow it..... it stretches itself.

So climb any mountain....
climb up to the sky!
My love will find you my love can fly!

Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!
My love will find you . My love can swim.

It never get's lost, never fades, never ends...............

If your working.....
or playing.....
or sitting with friends.

You can dance til you're dizzy............
paint til you're blue.....
There's no place, not one,
that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely,
or someday you're sad,
or you strike out at baseball,
or think you've been bad....

Just lift up you're face, feel the wind in your hair.
That's me my sweet babies, my love is right there.

In the green of the grass....
in the smell of the sea.. in the clouds floating by...
at the top of a tree... in the sound crickets make
at the end of the day...

you are loved. You are loved. you are loved, they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide and so deep, it's always right there, even
when you're asleep.

So hold you're head high
and don't be afraid to
march to the front of
your own parade.

If you're still my small babe,
or you're all the way grown,
my promise to you is
you're never alone.

You are my angels, my darlings,
my stars.... and my Love will find you
wherever you are.

Lola and Giuseppe - You got it!

Do you ever have one of those experiences that you know you will never forget?
You know the ones where you want everyone who means anything to you to also experience.

Tonight was one of those times for me.

We decided to try someplace different to eat so we drove to a nearby town and spotted a small restaurant with Italian cuisine.  Lola and Giuseppes. 

From the moment we walked in the door I felt like I was in not out.  What  I mean is I was that comfortable, I felt like I was home.

Enter in and here comes Lola "welcome to my place, you new here?"

The room we are in has only 8 tables.  We are seated beside a couple , I mean beside a couple. Within seconds this couple reaches out their hands to introduce themselves and began talking like old friends.  Obvious very loyal customers they proceeded to tell us about every dish on the menu.  Lola walked over to their table to hand them a lemon dessert drink in very small glasses.  Before Lola handed them the glasses she held them before them and said "To love and friendship and good health".

The gentleman took a sip and handed his glass to my husband and said here try this.  Who. Does. That?  Drinking out of the same cup as a stranger?

Before I knew what was happening, my husbands hand toppled over my full glass of ice water. It quickly ran a over my pants, chair, the floor and obviously the table.  Now all of that is not so exciting or maybe even unusual but an important element none the less.  This women we just met, the wife to the man who shared his drink- she jumped up and took their linen napkins as well as others and began wiping my lap, and the table, and tossed napkins down on the floor she proceeded to go into the kitchen and yes she is a customer and yes she came out of the kitchen with a mop!

So we are now about 15 minutes into our experience. Lola was a love.  We decided what we wanted. ordered. When Lola came by to see if we were ok?  I said "I love it and we don't even have our food yet" "Oh you so sweet" she says.

We learned Lola and Giuseppe have been in the business 7 years. 

We ate our food and it was superb.

The customer service was superb!

I was on stimulation overload. I felt so warm I did not want to leave.

On my left there was a table of 3 women who drove from Marysville!!! just to eat there based on the reviews that were written on the Internet.

A man in his 20's walked in and Lola greeted him as she does everyone and she said this. You were here a year ago!  He said yes I was, look hear I have our picture and he pulls out his phone and shows her their picture.  Who does that? Lola does.

I told Lola I wanted my picture taken with her and she said oh honey let me get my lipstick.  This woman was so beautiful inside there was no shade of lipstick needed to improve her image.

"Lola, I said. Do you know what a blog is?" "No I don't even know how to turn one on" she knew it was something on a computer.  I explained to her what it was and that I enjoyed blogging and that I was going to blog about her an Giuseppe.  Her eyes widened.  You see to her she was doing nothing extraordinary but extraordinary she was. She said "You mean I am going to be all over the world?" I said "yes, you could be" "let me see that picture of us, I look awful"

"I put my arms around this 70 plus year old lady and said Lola you are beautiful, and you got it."  She said you know we have never spent a dime on advertising.  You know they don't need to.

We hugged and I promised to return and she said bring your friends- and friends you will not want to miss this.  
                                                      
                                               

Me and Lola

So if you are not yet sold, let me introduce Giuseppe.  We walk out the door and I have this feeling like I don't want to leave.  The kind of feeling you get when you are saying goodbye to family. Well out walks Giuseppe, Lola's husband. He didn't know how I was feeling, however he said this to me. " Don't go, let us sit here and talk."  Really am I here or having some out of body experience?

First he wants to know how we came about coming to their place.  He then wanted to make sure we enjoyed.  "Enjoyed, I said I don't want to leave".  He laughed and said "there is a little bed in the back you can have that".

He was clearly right from Italy with the charming accent and smile.  As we talked I learned;
 
"I come from Italy when I was a little boy of 24, he laughs.  I work all my life , every day.  I am 78 and I still work 7 days a week, 12-14 hours a day. We LOVE what we do.  We both love to cook.  Lola she loves to do the sweets, you know the pastries.  Come into her little sweet room where she makes things, oh she has so many trinkets.  You know we sometimes put on the gloves and go at it but there is no one like Lola. She loves the people, she go around and talk to everyone, me not so much."

I ask if Lola is from Italy, he smiles and his eyes twinkle. "No she a French women" and again that infectious laugh.

He shares a story of taking Lola back to Italy once.  He shares his love for this country.  As we are getting ready to go he says.  Italy is beautiful but this is my home.  Well Giuseppe we are so glad that it is.  I walked away with so much more than just a full belly.  My heart was full.

Me and the charming Giuseppe.

Feelings of regret turns to disguised blessings

I have not felt well for several days so as I was heading into the weekend I found myself wishing  I was running from third base and ready to slide into the weekend...........SAFE!

However I had committed myself to two things and felt that it was important not to disappoint those involved.

The first commitment was to my 11 year old son.  We planned on going out to eat, which held no appeal to me right now and we planned on going to the movie 42- The true story based on the life of Jackie Robinson the first African American to play major league baseball.

The movie itself was awesome, definitely one I would watch again but watching it with my adopted son who happens to be African American stirred many emotions.  I am sitting here watching a movie where the entire story line is based on racism, and I represent the race that caused me to feel shame.

There were parts that were tough to see, there were parts when his eyes were riveted on the screen, and there were parts when I knew he felt the pain that Jackie Robinson felt.

As we were leaving I asked him if he liked the movie and his simple quiet response was "some parts I liked and some parts I really did not like"

We later had a conversation that went like this;

Cam-  Mom do you know how many birth siblings I have?
Me-  I do you have 3 older and 2 younger.
Cam- Do I look like my birth mom?
Me-  Well son I only saw her once, but I remember her being very tall.
Cam- I want to see her. I don't want a relationship with her I just want to see her.
Me- Why do you think you might want to do that?
Cam- I want her to see who I am. The next time anyone says anything to me about being adopted I am going to say "my parents chose me" "With Mike and Ashley you gave birth and were stuck with them, but you chose me"
Me- Yes son I did- without regret!

Yes this commitment I was regretting turned into an evening of blessings.

Regret #2
 
I had committed to working for hospice at a children's camp for the day and when I woke Saturday still not feeling well I thought why can I never say no! I was assigned to a 6 year old boy named Airon.  I arrived and waited around for his arrival and as soon as he came in I knew it was him.  I was not expecting an active little boy however after only a minute or two I thought to myself I will never be able to handle him today.  He was a challenge for about 45 minutes and then I did a trust building activity with me and the monster in him melted away and he had the face of an angel.

He was an angry little boy when he came in and rightfully so but he accomplished something that few adults can do in that short period of time.  Think about a time when you met someone new, were they immediately your best friend?  Did you tell them your innermost secrets?  It isn't likely that you trusted them after the first meeting.  No, relationships take time but maybe not for someone who knows how quickly time passes and can be over.

This little boy who was so filled with anger opened up to me about death, and life and goodbyes.  We made a picture frame for his mom to keep a picture of him in and on it he put stickers of all the things he likes and that make him happy. He trusted me with his story.  

 As I watched him walk away at the end of the day I knew he was no longer angry that he had come and I knew that this was yet another blessing that earlier I saw as a regret.

Thank you Lord for disguising our Blessings and opening my eyes.

It's what's inside that counts, not what covers us.

 We come into the world automatically entering into a relationship.  You are now someones child and you will grow to understand the relationship of parent and child.  It may or may not be the best relationship you will ever have.

Some of the strongest relationships we will ever build in this lifetime are our friendships.  As we grow the shape of our friendships change.

Friends become the people who help us through life.  They may be long-lasting, meaningful friendships or they may be what we call fair weathered friends.

How do we determine who is a friend?


“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 I have multiple friends at multiple levels of friendship.  I have friends where our relationship is built on mutual trust and reliability, the friend that you can tell anything to and know that it is safe in their mouth mind.  The friend you turn to when things are bad, the friend you turn to when things are good.  This Friend will hold your hand, let you blubber cry on her shoulder but if you want to count on this Friend you must be the same for her.


“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare

My friends don't have to agree with me or the decsions I make and I even prefer them to tell me if they don't, that is what is beautiful just the simple act of being there. The uncanny way they may have of knowing just when you need that phone call, or card or text.


“Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.” – Sicilian proverb

Or more importantly when you have spinach in your teeth.  The friend/relationship that is refreshing for me is the one who tells you the truths, the one that keeps you on the straight and narrow when you are only able to see the curves up ahead.  This relationship tells me- "I want what's right for you so let me help you think straight when you are not able" 

As different as people are most of  us want the same things.  When we look at the exterior of someone we all look different however on the inside we are all the same.

I recently heard Dr Benjamin Carson; director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins University put it this way.

When asked why he doesn't speak more about his race ( he is African American) he stated "because I am a neurosurgeon"  "You see when I open a skull and remove the bones I see the same brain in everyone and that makes us who we are, what covers us does not".

How much easier would friendships/relationships be if we could all see as clearly.  You don't have to be a neurosurgeon to know we all look different from outside appearances but we all have the need to have, and be a friend.

My coach is undefeated

Do you know those days when you feel like your face is on a billboard as a target? 

 When you feel like every corner you turn someone is there to throw another punch your way?

With the exception of having to leave loved ones behind, have you thought of just getting in your car and driving like, forever far away?


If you are not able to relate you either live in a glass bubble or you are not honest.

I am not talking about an, alarm doesn't go off, out of coffee, traffic jam, no hot water kind of day.

I am not even talking about the kind of day where you somehow lose control of your day because of the unexpected.  Being a nurse I have had many of those days and sometimes they are most rewarding.

I am talking about the kind of day when your lens in which you see the world becomes so muddied that you cannot see clearly.

When we are experiencing these negative emotions we need enough energy to think of 3 positives for every negative emotion. I have to be honest and say that today in the midst of this never ending storm, a positive I could not find.  I am thankful however that anger is not a common emotion for me so I did handle myself with grace.

After we are removed from the situation our muddied lens become clearer.

I reminded myself that this is only temporary. I go to a quiet place and listen to music that brings me peace. More importantly I turn to the only place with answers.

Here friends is where I find my peace;

Galatians 6:9

And let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9
we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;


Deuteronomy 31:6 -
 
"Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."

 

Jeremiah 29:11 -

 

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope

Romans 5:1 -

Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

And one of my favorites;

Philippians 4:6-7 -
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


Tomorrow I will wake up and go into battle again but I will be prepared for it and will wear the armor of God. I will not be immuned to the infliction of pain by others, I will still have dissapontments and likely still feel defeated however I am ready to stand tall in what I know and that is this; my coach is undefeated.