Grand- News

Like most mothers I love all my children equally.  My first born, my son is the one who was responsible for making me a first time mom. 

Last evening my beautiful daughter gave me the greatest gift ever, she is going to make me a first time grandmother.  If you didn't here me scream when she told me then you must be at least 100 miles from me. 

I was certain I would not sleep last night, however I slept so peacefully.  When I woke this morning and my feet hit the floor, I shook out the sleepwebs from my mind and said to myself "oh yea I am going to be a grandmother" and I did that smile we do when we are alone.

I have reflected all day on this new role I will take on.  I have been a daughter, I am a sister, mother, friend, mother in law, wife and now this new role, a grandmother. 

A grandmother is a role that one "waits for".  It is a role we have to these little people who love us for who we are.  It is ok if we are no longer young and beautiful, if we do not know all the newest technologies, if we don't talk cool, or wear the latest styles our grandchildren see us as someone special in their lives we are "just because" .  That title comes with privileges that no other title we carry has.

Grandmas are a soft place to fall.  We are wise not because mom and dad are not but because we are seasoned.  Grandchildren bring our own babies back to us in a much easier way.  We can love them, care for them, nurture them, spoil them, and love them some more.

Grandmas are the link our grandchildren need to learn about the lives of their parents, who else is going to tell them ALL the truths.

I can't yet speak from experience however I can only imagine that the sweet smell of that grand baby will be an extension of the tremendous love I have for his/her mom. 

Thank you my darling daughter and her wonderful husband for giving me another role to play but also to have the wonderful opportunity to see you as a parent.

So I have the pleasure of designing the nursery below are a few ideas tell me what you think.

My personal favorite is the antique nursery

Sister Connections

Spending the last 4 days with my 5 sisters leaves me feeling empty on this 5th day as they have all gone their separate ways back to their homes and families.

Relationships develop at different times in our lives, especially relationships with our siblings. 

Tonight I reflect on not only the moments we shared and the new memories we made this week, but on the memories we have built over the years.  These sisters share those same memories.  There is no friend, no matter how close that is able to share the same memories.  There are only 5 other women in this entire world who share the same experiences that I have.  We share the same memories of our parents and when we reminisce we all are able to go to the same place in our minds we don't have to try and visualize it as it is being told to us.

We share the same parents, we all grew up in the same home,  we ate at the same table, attended the same schools though some of us years later than others. 

These sisters who all grew in the same womb as I, share many likenesses however we equally share many differences;

One may be the dancer, while the other is a watcher, however in the midst of all the differences sisters are as close to us as our own arms and legs.  They are connected to us in ways no other being can be.
 
She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.  She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.  She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.  She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.  Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child. To the outside world we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  We know each other as we always were.  We know each other's hearts.  We share private family jokes.  We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time. 

Emily Dickinson wrote;

I would like more sisters, that the taking out of one, might not leave such stillness.

Personally for me, I know that having 5 sisters would not make the loss of one any less painful.  Each sister represents a significant part of my being, a link to a lifetime of memories, the second half of my laugh, the other half of my hug, the greatest gift from my parents!

I love my time with my sisters!

You can't dismiss God

I am saddened by the news today regarding OUR Pledge of Allegiance.  Tell me how children are told to say this pledge at the start of a major, televised golf tournament but to leave out Under God?  I wonder, how many parents knew their child was instructed to do so.  Shame on them if they did. 

Letting go of "God" is what has gotten this country into so much turmoil. 

I get frustrated, sad, and ashamed and then I remember who I am, and that is a child of God.  It does not matter how many times you remove God from our sports events, school systems, pledges, He does NOT remove himself from us, or our Nation. 

If you have a car and you remove the gas from the tank, it isn't any less a car! 

The joke is on YOU- my friend God isn't going anywhere!

Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

“I pledge allegiance” (I promise to be true)

“to the flag” (to the symbol of our country)

“of the United States of America” (each state that has joined to make our country)

“and to the Republic” (a republic is a country where the people choose others to make laws for them -- the government is “of, by and for” the people)

“for which it stands,” (the flag means the country)

“one nation” (a single country)

“under God,” (the people believe in a supreme being)

“indivisible,” (the country cannot be split into parts)

“with Liberty and Justice” (with freedom and fairness)

“for all.” (for each person in the country...you and me!)

The pledge says you are promising to be true to the United States of America!

 The last change in language came on Flag Day 1954, when Congress passed a law, which added the words “under God” after “one nation.”

So if I understand this right Congress passed a law to add the words Under God, so how is it that it is so easily altered now at the whim of any non-believer who declares we are offensive by proclaiming that our nation is Under God.



Originally, the pledge was said with the right hand in the so-called “Bellamy Salute,” with the right hand resting first outward from the chest, then the arm extending out from the body. Once Hitler came to power in Europe, some Americans were concerned that this position of the arm and hand resembled the Nazi or Fascist salute. In 1942 Congress also established the current practice of rendering the pledge with the right hand over the heart.

The Flag Code specifies that any future changes to the pledge would have to be with the consent of the President.

So Mr. President did you give consent to remove OUR God from OUR pledge?
What you do NOT have,is the power to remove him from our hearts, our homes, our churches, our lives.



Be the window- Take away the silver

If you are like me you like to watch people.  Have you ever just stood at a window and looked out at all the people going by?  It may be from your office, it may be the window to or from a store it may even be from your home or your car window.  Windows as we know are simply made of clear glass, but did you ever stop to think that a mirror is also just clear glass?  The only thing that makes it different from a window is that there is silver added to the back however the vast difference is when we look in the mirror we stop looking at others and only look at ourselves.

How many times do we fail to see others and see only ourselves? When we are in a hurry in the grocery store and we see only ourselves in the line, we fail to see that the person ahead of us may be buying items that are obviously for someone who is ill.   Or we see the young mother behind us who has a crying infant and a toddler pulling on her leg and we only see ourselves.  Do we offer to let her go ahead?
We sit in the doctors office for a follow up appointment and feel slighted if someone who is ill is "fit in" ahead of us. 

 On the flip side we never know when we are the ones on the other side of the window being looked at.  If you know you are being watched do you behave differently?  My guess is yes, we all do.  

Think about how much further you can see though a window.  We see the focal point, we see what is moving around the focal point, we see what is up close and we see what is in the distance, sometimes we can see what is in front of us (windshield) and what we are leaving behind ( rear window).

Now think about the mirror;

I feel that it is healthier to look out at the world through a window than through a mirror. Otherwise, all you see is yourself and whatever is behind you.

When I look in the mirror all I see is me. and I am pretty used to me. 
I think I will start looking through more windows, there is no silver to block my view!

TJ

Today I may have been inspired by a great many things however the 1 thing I choose to share trumps them all.  He is just a small boy of 8 who attends our church.  I have the pleasure of having him in my group for Vacation Bible School this week.  To look at TJ you would not think he was all that different than any other 8 year old boy who just wants to have fun.

I welcomed the kids as they came in 4 sweet little girls, and then there is TJ the only boy.  He sits next to me and is immediately comfortable and begins asking questions about what we are going to be doing, when do we go outside? when do we have snack?  I showed him our schedule and we went through each station.  TJ then said, "I have to have my snack by 6:00 because I can not eat anything for 2 hours before my chemotherapy and I have that at 8:00!"  He said it like one would say I have to brush my teeth before I go to bed.

I hunted down grandma before she left as I wanted to clarify that as it was already 6:30 and we had not yet begun.  She and TJ talked about it and decided he could have the snack and have his treatment later.  I don't know about you but I don't know many 8 year olds that have to worry about when he has his snack but he knew what he was supposed to do.  He knew he had to use his hand sanitizer throughout the night.

I observed him closely throughout the night and he melted my heart with his soft smile, his curly hair that was beginning to grow back, and his desire to just be a kid.  He did not seem consumed by the fact that I have to go home and have chemo tonight. 

Why the inspiration?  How many of us as adults could be playing so freely, singing, running, laughing just hours before getting a lifesaving treatment? 

Instead, I am willing to bet that most of us would be home under a blanket waiting for what was to come.  Not TJ he was ready to just be a kid and have fun and fit in and that my friends, I bet is what will get him through this, his spirit, his drive, and perhaps his Faith.

In sharing (after learning the creation story) I asked the kids what their favorite weather was and why?  TJ responded "I love the rain, for the way it smells"  At 8 I did not know rain had a smell- I knew it meant I could not go out and play.  I imagine there is a great many things that TJ appreciated that we take for granted.

Inspiration...............Absolutely!


What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
(Matthew 18:12-14 ESV

memories of the heart not the mind

In the past post I shared about our summertime childhood memories. 

When I started this blog I was not sure where it would take me or where I wanted it to go.  I know that I wanted to be more aware of daily inspirations and inspire others to see the extraordinary in the ordinary. 

It has become a journal of sorts for me, however it has opened my eyes and soul to observe more closely.

The mind is a powerful thing.  Memories;  (my definition)   are experiences that we have had good and bad that are stored to be pulled out when needed for peace, strength or comfort.  They often produce gut wrenching laughs , quiet smiles, tears of joy and or sadness.

Working often with Alzheimer's patients I see how the mind works and how memories sustain these people.  Today I witnessed that first hand when a woman who suffers with dementia was sitting outside with several other ladies and enjoying the garden.  She said "The only thing that would make this better would be a glass of lemonade"  I looked in her hand , and in it she held a glass of lemonade.  She was not aware of that however she associated that with a pleasant memory that she has stored.  

It made me think about how important our memories are.  Even those who may not remember where they are, who there loved ones are, or how to perform the littlest daily task, even they have memories from the distant past that they draw upon.  They can not tell you what they had for dinner but ask them about how they survived  in the Great Depression" and they can masterfully detail it for you.  How powerful is that.

As you may or may not have picked up on it yet each thought leads me then to another thought until I am running on a tangent but eventually leads me to my inspiration and it amazes even me who is experiencing it how it all ties in.

That said, I have always pressured myself into creating special memories for my children and I realized the most special are those that just happen.  Of course some of them must be planned but the off the cuff it just happened stuff, that is meat!.

I promise I am getting to the inspiration!  So this evening Cameron is in the back yard with a few of his friends, ( one new one who we have not met and when he met us was quite surprised I was "the mom")  I always chuckle when that happens.  Here is this boy who is as dark as coal and then us who are white as snow, which takes me to another thought (surprised aren't you) when he was a baby we were at a festival and he was in the stroller, a boy about 10 years old came up to us as serious as he could be and said "um I think you guys took the wrong baby".  Happy days!

OK here it is back the the boys playing- in they all come as they are now thirsty and Cameron walks over to his dad who is sitting in the recliner and gives him a big hug, before I know what is happening 5 boys are in his arms and Cameron is yelling Group hug!  How inspiring that our son is

1.  Comfortable enough to hug us with all his friends around, and

2. Comfortable enough with him and us and our differences that even though all his "little brown friends" (that is how he describes his friends to us, the one who is brown or he is white") don't quite understand how that all happened (they do ask) he still is just loving us and he is making more memories for mama.

I carried a gallon of Kool -aide to the deck with a stack of cups and a small bag of sour skittles and as I walked in heard "Cameron your mom is nice"  I smiled and knew that Cameron too was making memories that he will carry with him and pull out of his memory bank when needed.

"It is often said that something may survive of a person after his death if that person was an artist and put a little of himself into his work. It is perhaps in the same way that a sort of cutting taken from one person and grafted onto the heart of another continues to carry on it's existence even when the person from whom it has been detached has perished."  

Children all over the world need to make memories no matter what their economical situation is.

Have a great memory making day!

Hold that thought

With the extreme rise in temperature the past several days I can't help but think it is summer even though we are only in our 2nd week of June. 

What is your first thought when you hear the word summer ?  I for one go immediately to the summers of my childhood.

Before I was in school I think it was just another season, but once I started school nothing shouted summer more than that last day of school. 


 Late nights playing outside until the fireflies had to light your way.  Endless days in the sun using your imagination as your dreams unfolded before you.

Late nights lying in the grass looking at all the stars contemplating just how long it would take you to reach them.  Where did all those beautiful night time skies go? 

Rides in the back of your dads pick up truck to the ice cream shop for a rainbow sherbet ice cream cone.

Running through sprinklers, tent camping, picnics picnics and more picnics .

I can close my eyes and almost hear the sounds of summer.  Birds waking me with their melodies to come out and play,  Water splashing at the beach, The tinny music from the ice cream truck, husking the sweet corn, snapping the beans.  I can smell the hot dogs cooking and feel the stickiness of the watermelon juice as it runs down my arms. I can see my mother in her flower gardens and I can vividly recall the humming of the fans placed throughout our air conditionless house and hear the distortion of our voices as we talked into it.  

Most of all I can feel like a kid again.  I am taken back to a time when things were simple and I like it there!

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.


memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. 

Our childhood summers have changed however our memories don't have to "unhappen"

Make a glass of lemonade and enjoy your summer!

My we look dirty.........but I bet we had fun!

Plain and Simple

When I made the decision to begin blogging, I knew that I wanted it to be about a variety of things that inspire me.  I knew that it would open my eyes to see something in each day.

Perhaps I am more aware now, but I am continually amazed at how I am brought to what insires me.

Today I walked into a country store to find a gift, and I was on inspiration overload.  The store was all country crafts and antiques.  I was drawn to their variety of fabric, as it is unusual, not what one would find in a common fabric store.  I was drawn to several peieces, however I settled on a darling panel and print for a quilt!  This quilt will belong to my first grandbaby, whenever the Lord blesses us with such.  It is very unique and I promise pictures will follow. ( I did not go in the store at all with the idea of trying to make such a quilt)

Ok so I was insired by the fabric, but led to think about those who make quilting look easy and are the "quilt masters", the Amish. 

As my mind often does, I run with thoughts of their way of life and though it is very different, are our desires so different than theirs?

How many of us remember the days when our mothers hung our clothes outside to dry?  How often have you wished you could once again smell the fresh sheets as you climb into bed at night?  Wonderful memories yet a simple time we have let go- it is easier to throw them in the drier, however what have we sacrificed?

I remember as a child walking into our cellar (not basement) to bring up a jar of peaches or pears, or a vegetable that mom had canned.  I remember the long days when she would be canning numerous jars of tomatoes for that homemade spaghetti sauce that would grace our table and fill our bellies come winter.  I remember snapping the beans, and smelling all the spices from canning pickles.  All great memories that I am certain many of you share.  Once again though we have traded that in for what is easier, reaching in the cupboard pulling out a can or jar as needed, now filled with preservatives.  Is it easier? yes it is, however what have we taken from our own children?  WIll they feel warm inside thinking about going to the grocery store and filling our carts with all we need?   

 Our transportation is vastly different than the Amish, but not so different than the travel in the early days.  Why have we moved on?  I understand progress and I know that traveling across country in a buggy is not all that practical, however we could open our eyes more to what we are seeing.

The gentle breezes and hush that comes over you while gazing at an Amish home brings you to where God intended us to be, at home, raising our families, and helping our friends and neighbors.

Are we really so different?

Nature vs Nurture

I was inspired again by the early morning sun, but more importantly I was inspired by attending church and hearing the word of God!

I have had a weekend of questions from my nine year old son. 

• Mom what happens to a boy when he goes through puberty?
• What happens to a girl when she goes through puberty?
• Who do you think I look like?  I wonder if I look like my birth mom or dad?
• Can I be a running back, even if the coach wants me to be a defensive lineman?
• Do you think my birth mom would be jealous if she saw us together?

Wow that didn't catch me off guard or anything !

I took a deep breath as I prepared to give my puberty talk and he said "I know one thing I don't want to get all that body hair".  I proceed to give "the talk" as I did years ago with my now adult children, and when I finished talking about the boys he said "that is gross, I don't even want lunch now"

So we move on to talk about the girls changes and out of his mouth came the exact words and tone that my 30 year old son (whom he shares a birthday with)said many years ago.

That said it brings me to today's thoughts- Nature vs. Nurture.  9 years ago I had the pleasure of adopting a beautiful baby boy who is African American.  My birth son has referred to him as our Nature vs Nurture project.

Why does a child grow up to be a Doctor, a lawyer, musician, churchgoer?

Some researchers say that it is inherited in the genes, while others will argue that the driving force is the upbringing and the nurturing we get from our parents.

 But a new child-development theory bridges those two models, says psychologist George W. Holden at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. Holden's theory holds that the way a child turns out can be determined in large part by the day-to-day decisions made by the parents who guide that child's growth.

This model helps to resolve the nature-nurture debate. Effective parents are taking nature into account in their nurturing. It's a slightly different twist.

Parental guidance is key. Child development researchers largely have ignored the importance of parental  guidance. Effective parents observe, recognize and assess their child's individual genetic characteristics, then cultivate their child's strengths.

I don't say this as a researcher, or by any means as an expert on the theory of Nature vs Nurture. I base it simply on the actual experience we have had in our home.

We are a Caucasian family raising a Black child.  It matters not to us the genetics that made his skin black, or the characteristic's that he has obviously inherited from his birth parents.  It is about the matters of the heart and he is so like us it is hard to imagine our family without him.  He has some uncanny traits that are like that of my oldest son.  He is loving and warm like our daughter.  He has interests that any 9 yr old living in this environment would have. 

I do not deny that there are, I am sure traits that are from nature (genetic) there are the very obvious ones- however isn't nurture really what it is all about?

Who cares if we do things like our mom did? or if we walk like our father does?  Who cares if our ancestors were from royalty?  What we all want is to be living in an environment that is loving, safe and yes filled with nurturing!

So the best questions came later!

• Mom can we go to the mall to get my new shoes?
• Mom can we watch the Indian movie together in your bed?
• Mom would you like to use your coupons I made you for mothers day?

That my friends is from the boy who has been nurtured!

One of my own

Come to my table,

Drink from my cup, open the door to your soul.

Do not be the onlooker of my dance, but the

extension of my movements.

Allow me to soar,

confidently in my own sky,

yet believe there is space there for you also.

Repair my broken wings when they fail to hold

me up.

Come to my table,

drink from my cup, open the door

to your soul.

Spill the perfume!

Sun, I am truly inspired that you have decided to grace us with your presence for the past several days.  I find, as I am sure many of you do as well that the weather, temperature and environment plays a huge part in our disposition. 


We have had an enormous amount of rain and I for one nearly forgot what that orange ball in the sky looked like.  The sun just gives us so much warmth.  This did get me thinking though on how we can make our own sunshine for those long stretches when we are deprived of it.  I have realized that it really is a sate of mind.


Think about it when we are home and it rains, we may get grumpy, we may think of all the ways it has ruined our plans.  Think about a time though you were on a GREAT vacation and it rained, I know I have been in that position and my outlook has been this, hey we are here let's still make the best of it and have a good time and you know what we always do.  The sky may not be vivid blue, you may have to alter your plans but nonetheless I bet you enjoy whatever you choose as an alternate. You cannot pour perfume on others without getting a few drops on yourself!


In the words of Abraham Lincoln " most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be"


I am going to be more mindful of making the best of rainy days because, how can I say I love thunderstorms and then be upset if it is raining? 


I am inspired by the sunshine, however when it rains I don't have to go out and water all my beautiful flowers.


Be who YOU want the world to be!

My husband doesn't know it yet but this is my inspiration for a summer project

I will build this..............stay tuned for pictures !