Leave the dirt, find the Blessing

I am having trouble today in finding that 1 thing to write about.  I find random thoughts throughout the day and say "Hey I think I can make that into a semi- interesting blog" and then when I sit down it is gone!  Does this happen with a painter?, A potter? do they dip their brush into mounds of colors of paint and then say I am not sure where this is going?  Does he pick up a pile of soft un-molded clay and throw it down on the potters wheel and say I wonder what this will be?

Isn't that really how life is?  How many times do we get up with a plan in our mind for exactly how our day is going to go, only to have the first hour pass and already your perfect list is already a bust?  This used to be a real hard thing for me to deal with.  Not OCD hard but challenging.  If my tasks had to be set aside for some unplanned event I had a hard time getting back to my list thus wasting more time than probably need be.  I have learned however that usually the disruptions are just Blessings in disguise and hey why should our Blessings be disguised? 

Last Sunday, after church I had a few errands I needed to run, check done , feel good.  Get home ready to go full force into the tasks I MUST complete and my husband says hey lets go for a ride.  I felt my insides go all gobbelygook because I know with him it is not just a little ride it is an adventure!  Could be an hour (not likely) could be 4 (more realistic).  I threw caution to the wind and said "sure" with all the enthusiasm I could muster.  It was a beautiful day and I felt so accomplished because I got in that car and never once thought about what I could/should be doing at home. 

We found a little hiking path (not dressed for, this was supposed to be a drive) but it was a find that we can return to when we are planning a hike.
We drove through small old towns, saw the beginnings of the changing leaves, Stumbled upon a great place to eat and drove home in the sunset. My unplanned gobbelygook day turned out to be a Blessing.  Time spent doing nothing with a loved one will hold more memories than getting those tasks done that no one will remember.

I have learned over the years thought that going with the rhythm of the day is all by choice.  If the rhythm is out of sync and you choose to stick with the beat then you will feel out of sync, but if the rhythm is smooth and you dance to that beat chances are whatever you choose to do will be the right dance for you.

So this weekend if you are offered a better deal, tear up that task list, close the door to that messy room, put the vacuum away and let your hair blow in the wind, someone is waiting to Bless you day.

Soups on!

I rarely follow a recipe when making soup.  One of my favorites is pasta fagioli from Olive garden and I have had it so often that I can mirror what is in it. 

While throwing a pot of it together this evening I thought about how each ingredient plays a role in how it is flavored, much like our lives and the people in it.

Each person, relative or friend has had some kind of an impact on our life, leaving a memory with that connection.

A parent is most likely our foundation much like the base of our soup. Our siblings, each with their own personalities are like the spices we use to create the flavors.  And then there are all the substance ingredients, the vegetables, potatoes, meats whatever we are adding into our soup that become the unique differences we find in our friendships.  Once my soup was all put together I realized how nice it looked combined and thought how plain and unappealing it was when it was merely the foundation.  I thought about how all the relationships in my life are intertwined in one way or another and like my soup, each ads it's own unique dimension to my life.

I like my soup and I like my life all thrown together.

Birth is how you get here, love is how you grow!

 Because I have a 45 minute drive to work I often utilize this time for my quiet time, either with God or with my own scrambled thoughts.  Before turning off the radio the other day though, I was informed it was " National trim your nose hair day" Really?  What flag do we fly for that?  Is there nothing more worthy to celebrate than trimming our nose hairs?  Made turning off the radio much easier!

I often think about my life as a mother, probably because I am so passionate about it. Having been given the Blessing of raising another child after giving birth to 2 was not something that I would have necessarily said was in my lifelong plan.  How thankful I am that it is God's plan that prevails and not my own.

I know I am not unique in having birth children and an adoptive child. ( I sometimes hate that word) I have such mixed feelings about it because, through adoption I became a mother to a wonderful baby boy, but because of adoption people don't always see them as yours. 

I have thought of this a lot recently however have been inspired by a friends, blessings and struggles with international adoptions and her story has only emphasized my thoughts.

The reason I struggle at times with the word adoption is because I am, often forced to use it.  My son is African American so the differences are obvious, which leads many people to ask about his position in our family.  "Is he adopted"? "Is he a foster child"? How long have you had him ? and this one I always love Where did you get him? 

People he came into the world in the same manner as you and any birth children you may have been Blessed with.  Cameron's position in our family is only different because of his birth order, not because of how he became a member of our family. 

I am not blind to the challenges that may come Cameron's way as he ages, or the feelings he has at times now about his birth, but my eyes are wide open to the opportunities to love him and have him know that he is a family member by choice.   My eyes and heart catch every wide toothed grin when we are all together and he is doing something with his older siblings, or we have family portraits taken and there is Cameron with his Beautiful brown skin and huge brown eyes, looking so very different yet fitting in so very well.

My heart melts when he does school projects and his dad is his inspiration, and his brother Mike is his hero, and his sister is going to make him an aunt (all his words) and his mom well she "Loves me"  that is really all that matters.  And when someone asks in his presence, how many children do you have? and I respond with 3 - he NEVER lets me get away with that.  Because his sister and brother are grown and married we have 2 additional children and he is so right in how he gets that, it doesn't matter how you come into a family, you are no less family.

As I shared, I never said "one day I think I will adopt" it just happened.  I will be honest I always wondered after having my children and falling so in love with them if anyone who adopted felt that same love- I can say without conviction yes!

I am the same mother bear with Cameron as I was with Mike and Ashley.  I will defend him when right, teach him when wrong, and love him through it all

It doesn't matter why or how you have come to make the choices you have made in your life it is what you do with it that matters, just as it doesn't matter how you came to be a member of a family, just that you are.

As I have told Cameron many times when talking about his birth, and what he now knows "I grew in mommy's heart not in mommy's belly. 

Everyone has a different birth story- similarities of course but different.  Love though is Love, and when a mother "just loves me" that rivals any story , labor pains or not. 

Breakfast is being served!

If you have ever been to Disney you know that they are a world class example of excellent customer service.   Well Mr. Ronald McDonald let me tell you what happened at your place today.  After Church before our back to school shopping excursion Cameron wanted McDonald's (yuk).  So we pulled into your house at 10:56 a.m.  After carefully spilling out what we wanted we got the following response " We are still serving breakfast" to which I said "You mean you are not serving lunch"? "Well we do serve lunch (duh) but not until 11:00" "So what you are saying is that in 3 minutes you will serve lunch but you will not take my order now" "Mam do you want breakfast"?  (drive away)

So Mr. McDonald, you lost a little money today!  I know I know you have gotten so big that customer service really isn't important as you have billions of people who will still come and eat at your house.

Treasure Chest

Imagine, discovering a treasure chest that is ornately decorated with shimmering jewels.  You lift the lid to find an abundance of gold coins, and jewels. You could only imagine finding this prize on a deserted beach after years of searching with the crumpled, torn , yellowed map.

Of course, chances of ever finding a real treasure chest are nearly non- existent, however our "treasures" are not necessarily made of gold and shining jewels. 

I remember as a child having a special place that I kept my treasures I didn't have a beautiful box, it may have been as simple as a shoe box but it held things that were dear to me.  It may have been my favorite troll doll, or a coin I found in the parking lot of the store and I just knew would bring me good fortune.  I am certain there were pieces of broken jewelry that would never again be worn but couldn't be parted with.  I know there were stones, stones that I thought to be the most beautiful from our driveway.

I began thinking of our "little treasures" when I was cleaning and there were several small pieces of candies and a small rubber bouncy ball with a smiley face on the counter top left from Cam's birthday bag goodies. When asked if he wanted any of it , he swiftly replied "I want the bouncy ball"  He picked it up and waled away and I smiled.  My boy who wanted an I Pod touch for his birthday treasured this little bouncing ball.  I knew instantly as he walked away where it was going- the treasure box !

Looking inside  ones treasures gives us a glimpse of what that person may be like, what they cherish, what simple things hold special meaning to them.  Looking into my 10 year old sons box I see shells that we gathered on the beach this summer on vacation, an orange pumpkin whoopee cushion, oodles if silly bands,his official autograph book that he got when we took him to Disney 4 years ago, Wow the Hawaiian Leigh he got at the Luau when we were in Hawaii when he was 3, His first leather carving from Boy Scouts, A Buckeye, Bible buddies from VBS, A Hockey puck from a game his dad took him to, Postcards from his big brother from all over the world, Many tiny trinkets, Tender from various countries given to him also by his brother, trading cards, acorns from walks in the park, and there in the bottom are rocks that he too thinks are beautiful!.

What can I tell about Cameron simply from this glimpse into his "treasures" ?  I can tell he is sentimental, he is adventurous, family and family time are important, most of what he has saved has a memory attached to it for him.  I know that this chest will set in his room until he leaves for college and if he is anything like his older siblings, when he leaves for college he will say "I don't want to take this with me BUT I want to keep it" and it will go into the basement where ALL the "PLEASE DON'T THROW AWAY STUFF" goes.

Why do we save things that are of no worth to others? Why is that plastic glow in the dark dinosaur at the bottom of his chest important? It isn't, but the memory that is stirred for him when he picks it up years from now will define why it has an honored place in the treasure chest.

Hold on to the small things in life that give you pleasure.  Get a box where you can keep small things that you can pull out on days that you need to feel warm moments, silly smiles, or cherished memories. 

Cameron's Treasure Chest and all of it's contents

Back to School

I don't know if memories become more important as we age or if they become more humorous as we age.

As "Back to school " fast approaches and I once again am sending one off to school I couldn't help but think about the differences there are not only from my childhood but even the differences since my now adult children have attended school.  My oldest son turned 30 the same day my youngest turned  10 and then my only daughter is 27.

I smiled as we talked about school clothes shopping, and could have died as I looked at the supply list. 

I recall so much excitement over shopping for new clothes.  I am the youngest of 9 children and we did not get a lot of new things throughout the year or even at the beginning of the school year as our mother sewed a lot of our clothing.  As we got older though and styles changed we needed to shop more and sew less. 
I can vividly see my mother hand us an item of clothing or assist up when we were smaller in trying something on right in the middle of the store- no wasting time with the dressing rooms.  I never really minded until the day came when in the middle of the store she held a bra and had us turn around so she could try it on us to see if it fit.  Really mom?  isn't this an undergarment? 

Then the shoes which even though bought soon enough were not to be worn until the first day of school which was a good enough reason for me to attend school.  Corny I know but I loved the sound of my souls hitting the pavement, almost like a tap shoe. That memory is still so vivid for me.

I am not sure we even got a supply list filled with required items we MUST have before the first day of school.  I remember getting what we thought would be basic things we needed paper and pencils.  No backpacks, we had those rubber book straps with a buckle that fit around our books. (mine was red).  We had to cover our books with book covers and we always made ours out of paper grocery bags, after all then they could be custom made! We did not need markers, crayons and colored pencils.  Red pens, well they were for the teachers to use to correct our papers.  We did not need spiral notebooks (colors specified by the teacher), three ring binders, Glue sticks and bottles glue.  Scissors were something we used in art supplied by, none other than the art teacher.  This year we have graduated to 2 boxes if tissues instead of only one and yes zip lock baggies too.  I am not sure but I think we are supplying these for all the teachers to pack their lunches in because I cannot recall more than a time or 2 that anything comes home in a baggie.   Oh and the hand sanitizer is a must not only a must to have but a must to have the kind that is on the list- Are we not teaching our children that the number one way to fight infection is hand washing.  Is my son going to a school where there is no water?  I think I could actually build a rubber room with the must have "pink erasers" that come back home every year nearly untouched.  Add all the must haves with the want to's and I need to cash in my 401k to send my son to 5th grade! 

Cameron is so excited that this year he has to ride a bus to school, I do not get this enthusiasm at all as my daily 1 hour bus ride consisted of blowing chow from motion sickness or enlisting someone (usually my sister) to sing with me as this seemed to help.  No kidding there were days when the bus driver just had me sit on the bus steps and ride.  That  stuff they would sprinkle over the mess was a common odor on my bus. 

Homework was important for sure and if we lost ours we had to get it the next day and turn it in late, we could not go to our teachers web site and get it there.  Styles of teaching have changed for sure and I was never more aware of it than when I had to go to the Internet to google math terms, that have changed.  Even the way they do simple math has changed.  I would sit at the table with Cameron with what I though could be fun and simple, however I soon  began sweating and my heart began racing when I had to admit to my 4th grader that I do not have a clue how to do this math.  I was then thankful for the Internet! 
All that said and done, we have been very pleased with the school system it just does amaze me with all the changes that have taken place over the past few decades.

So this weekend Cameron and I will set out with our laundry list of supply must haves from the teacher, and Cameron's list of must haves. 
We will get through it all and the memories we make will far outweigh the money we spent- after all a future genius needs a lot of stuff !