It's what's inside that counts, not what covers us.

 We come into the world automatically entering into a relationship.  You are now someones child and you will grow to understand the relationship of parent and child.  It may or may not be the best relationship you will ever have.

Some of the strongest relationships we will ever build in this lifetime are our friendships.  As we grow the shape of our friendships change.

Friends become the people who help us through life.  They may be long-lasting, meaningful friendships or they may be what we call fair weathered friends.

How do we determine who is a friend?


“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 I have multiple friends at multiple levels of friendship.  I have friends where our relationship is built on mutual trust and reliability, the friend that you can tell anything to and know that it is safe in their mouth mind.  The friend you turn to when things are bad, the friend you turn to when things are good.  This Friend will hold your hand, let you blubber cry on her shoulder but if you want to count on this Friend you must be the same for her.


“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” – William Shakespeare

My friends don't have to agree with me or the decsions I make and I even prefer them to tell me if they don't, that is what is beautiful just the simple act of being there. The uncanny way they may have of knowing just when you need that phone call, or card or text.


“Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.” – Sicilian proverb

Or more importantly when you have spinach in your teeth.  The friend/relationship that is refreshing for me is the one who tells you the truths, the one that keeps you on the straight and narrow when you are only able to see the curves up ahead.  This relationship tells me- "I want what's right for you so let me help you think straight when you are not able" 

As different as people are most of  us want the same things.  When we look at the exterior of someone we all look different however on the inside we are all the same.

I recently heard Dr Benjamin Carson; director of pediatric neurosurgery at John Hopkins University put it this way.

When asked why he doesn't speak more about his race ( he is African American) he stated "because I am a neurosurgeon"  "You see when I open a skull and remove the bones I see the same brain in everyone and that makes us who we are, what covers us does not".

How much easier would friendships/relationships be if we could all see as clearly.  You don't have to be a neurosurgeon to know we all look different from outside appearances but we all have the need to have, and be a friend.