Empty Nesting - Round 2

14 years ago I was preparing to become an "empty nester".  Who am I kidding I wasn't preparing for it, I was dreading it.  Life's circumstances left me needing to nurture someone other than myself, and soon "I" was the only individual that would be left behind in an empty home.

Excitement over my sons ongoing education at the United States Naval Academy and the impending departure of my daughter to spend a year in Germany after graduation, collided with a dread for the "emptiness" I was feeling.

I chose to foster a child-(OK I became a poster child for empty nest syndrome and fostered 3 under the age of 2 at one time) and ultimately adopted that child.

Background information out of the way-moving forward my soon to be 14 year old will enter high school this year and that nest is preparing- yes preparing not dreading to drop this birdie fro the nest and watch him fly.

NOT because round two was difficult, or a mistake, or that I regret it all, but quite the opposite.

What I have learned from Birdie #1 and Birdie #2 is that I love being a mama to them as adults.  I did not lose the title, my role just shifted.  They still need me, and more importantly they choose to spend time with me.  Our relationship that was developed during their childhood is solidified in adulthood.

I have learned that the lives they lead reflect so much of what I taught them.  Lessons they learned are lessons I taught.  Decisions they make are based on morals they have learned, experiences they have had and mistakes they made.


I learned that "those teenagers" become awesome adults I want to be around every chance I get.

Premature as it may seem to be thinking of an empty nest- I choose to be prepared this time.  I mean to adopt again would be nothing short of lunatic behavior special.  I know all too well how quickly these last 4 years will go and I know how busy these young people are and how self-centered (not entirely in a bad way)they can get.  Mom's don't always fit in.

By preparing I mean the gradual letting go of the things he now loves.

• How long will he still want to curl up and watch a movie together?
• How much longer will he want to run errands with me?
• How much longer will I still be his first choice movie going partner?
• How much longer is he going to love mom and son dates?
• How much longer is he going to share everything with me?
• When will I no longer be his #1 girl?

Al healthy changes I know, but nonetheless they leave a void and with each ding, the hole grows and one more feather is plucked.

I know I am more prepared this time because even though I do not know what our future holds, I do know that our hearts for one another remain intact.  I know that being a mom does not end with their coming into adulthood it continues to grow with a newfound love and respect for one another.

So with this round am I excited? YES.  I am not going to lie and sound like mother of the year I am looking forward to NOT;

• Packing lunches or using what feels like a chunk of your 401K to pay for them.
• Making sure h is up for school.
• ALWAYS having a balanced meal-(Oh relax, I don't Always do that cuz he loves cereal).
• Hearing "I need new shoes again"( You mean your feet grew that much in 4 weeks).
• Running out of milk like every other day- However I know that once he is gone and I each for a gallon of milk in the store, tears will be triggered and I will miss him. And then I will go home and dance.
• Going to every single school conference, meeting, event, sport activity and award ceremony.
• Assigning chores and then explaining for the trigillonth(I am sure that is a number)time why it is his responsibility.
• Having someone stand over you while you are taking the only nap you have had in 10 months and say "are you awake"?
• Having what is equivalent to the entire schools football team in my backyard playing trampoline football cuz eventually ALL those boys get thirsty and hungry.

So you get the idea-and while I am looking forward I know for certain I will also look back and these same memories will place a smile on my face and cause a little flutter in my heart.

While I  pray for my children daily, I must confess I pray for them more often now that some of my time has been released from the duties of their young lives.  I can sped more time on the spiritual needs of their lives.

Proverbs 22:6
"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it".

I raised my children with hope for what their adult lives would look like and still I am amazed of what good, capable people they are.

So if you are readying yourself to release your first or last bird from the nest, know this, you still have something to give them- your true self.

And so in a few months the countdown will begin for the first stages of preparing my bird to fluff up his wings and get ready to fly, not completely on his own- no, never that.

My parenting of the flesh may soon be over for my littlest bird but my parenting of the spirit is not and I must trust God to do what I cannot, and he will. I know.

My three Birds!