Children, Christmas and Nat King Cole

In 6.5 months my daughter will join the "mommies of more than one club"  I have been thinking about what that will look like for her family. 

It wasn't until I was a mother myself that I could fully appreciate all that my own mother did. I think this is true for just about anyone who has children.  Before children I just knew my mom was......a mom.  She coked, she baked, she took us to the dentist, the Doctor's.  What we needed she provided.  Was I always pleased? No.  At times did I think, I will do/be different when I have kids? yes.

What I never thought about was all she had to do for me as an infant.  We don't remember our infancy so there is not a memory bank to draw from.  I always remember romanticizing about the idea of having an infant.

As we become older and once we become parents the appreciation for our mothers (and fathers too) becomes clearer. 

I didn't think of all the diapers she washed. There were no disposable diapers at that time (eeek Im a old) and having a sister just 2 years older it is likely she had hers as well. I didn't think about her having to make her own formula.  The crying nights, the illnesses, unending laundry must have abounded since I am the youngest of 9.  Yes I said that right I am the 9th hoodlum precious gift.

I just thought well this mom things doesn't seem so hard, you get to make all the decisions regarding your child.  You get to be in charge of someone else.  You get to love your very own little person how hard can that be?

Wow was I disillusioned.

Being a mom is SO much more. First and foremost it is a privilege.  It is an honor to be given the opportunity to be a mother.  It is not something we are guaranteed.  It is not even something that all women want.

What I learned from my mother- These are actual memories( from my mother herself and being a mother) and recommendations to the newest mommies in our family;

1. You CAN love more than one child.
2. You can exist on only a few hours of sleep.
3. We'll see usually meant yes- I'll think about it usually meant no.
4. BAKE- The smells from your kitchen will later provide comforting memories.
5. When decorating your Christmas tree- Let them help! A beautiful tree will come later.
6. Insist that you take their picture the first day of each school year- they will thank you later.
7.Even when it hurts to say no- say it anyway.
8. Always kiss them goodnight- until they are old enough to then come and kiss you goodnight.
9. Let them experience some things without you.
10. Be in their business- you do have the right.
11. Tell them often they are beautiful and you love them.
12. Bundle them up to play in the snow( I remember so many layers I looked like I stepped off the set of The Christmas story)and then as soon as you are done bundling and they have to go to the bathroom smile and love them anyway.  A good memory need not be tainted by frustration.
13. Make them Hot chocolate like it was a celebration!
14. Cut down a Christmas tree at least once while they can make a memory.
15. When they stay home from school sick- make them chicken noodle soup and jello even if they don't want it- the love will make them feel better.
16. Don't ever be a judge in a coloring contest with their siblings.
17. Make them learn to set the table- even while they grumble.
18. Give the chores early.
19. Create aromas- I have SO many warm memories from the smells wafting  from the kitchen of my childhood home.
20. Smile when he/she proudly wears the hand-made Halloween costumes.(One year I do not know what my mother was thinking but for my costume contest in elementary school she sewed real leaves all over a 2 piece bathing suit  That was I the 60's so it wasn't seen as scandalous )
21.Encourage their dreams.
22.Love their daddy.
23. When they make you something and give it to you with much pride on their face- don't ask what it is.
24. Pray with them- read the Bible to them.
25. Don't drop them off at church- attend with them.
26. Even if they can't sing , tell them they sound beautiful.
27. Discipline them- you are NOT their best friend.
28. Let the go when It is time.
29. Now be their best friend.

You don't have to be the same mother mine was or even that I am.

I remember there was not a Sunday that went by without waking up to the smell of pies baking , the sounds of ice cubes being stirred in the jello so it would be set in time for dinner.  A roast being prepared ad cooking ALL before church!  This momma didn't so that.

I remember Christmas cut out cookies being so detailed with their icing that they seemed real.  While this momma can make a mean cut out cookie and they may be colorful, they are not detail oriented and we may even have a blue Santa.

You don't have to do the same traditions for the Holidays that we did but my guess is you will have some.  Good memories will prompt you to carry on those same traditions.

I remember Christmas having the same traditions year after year.  Weeks before when the red and white velvet reindeer appeared, for me this was the stat of the season.  Those reindeer so precious to me now sit on my mantle for Christmas.  You don't have to make pop corn balls, play Nat King Cole's Christmas music or patiently wait while your mother first puts all the lights and then the tinsel (one painful strand at a time)on the tree.  Just make memories for your family.

Being a mother is so much more than the feeding, diapering, nursing them while they are sick, sleepless nights.  It is teaching morals, values. Right from wrong. 

Being a mother Is preparing them for the future. Filling them with memories that can last long after you are gone.

Being a mother is loving them-ALL sides of them, at ALL times so when they leave, they will always want to come home.