Find That 1 Thing: Are you my Mother? ( Happy Family day Cameron)

I find it interesting that dates play such an important role in our lives. We celebrate Birthdays, Anniversaries, Mothers day, Fathers day, Grandparents day and even important milestones. I know there are symbolic reasons for those celebrations that have simply become traditions.

January 26 is Happy Family day for my son Cameron, a day equally as important as his Birthday. I say equally important because the world was made so much brighter by his presence but it is actually more important. Prior to celebrating Family day Cameron was not legally mine. Yes I brought him home from the hospital at the time of his birth, however it would take over 2 years before he was forever mine. During those two years there was the possibility that he could be removed from me. My days were filled with what if’s…..

What if the mother he was removed from was given another chance?

What if she wanted visitation?

What if a family member came forward?

What if this little child who was mine in every other way would be taken from my heart?

The years were filled with hope yes but not without turbulence as well.

A mother who never saw him after birth, still had a say in his life. Imagine the frustrations when this child , to you , is yours however you need her permission to cut his hair, to get him circumcised, to take him on a trip even out of the county! No that is not a typo I did say County not Country. I finally fought to get a waiver because imagine living on the county line and you turn left and you are in one county and you turn right and you are in another.

Yes Family day means so much more. It was a day of emotion and happy tears. It was a day in court, my little guy dressed in a little tux because this is a BIG deal would leave that room knowing he will FOREVER be mine. It was a day I couldn’t be prepared for. A day I promised my love and commitment to raising this child of another race. Why is that even a statement I would make? Because the ONLY thing that was addressed was the obvious differences in our skin color.

Are you prepared you teach him about his culture?

Are you prepared as a single Caucasian female to raise an African American boy? Excuse me did you just ask me that? Do people come this far NOT realizing they are about to adopt someone who may not look like them?

When you give birth no one walks in the delivery room and questions your capabilities or questions what you have done to prepare for this child. They are yours and the multiple security measures in place assure you that no one else will leave with your child. Multiple family members and friends comment on how much the baby may look like you. With adopting outside of your race there is no question this child is adopted.

With Adoption up until the judge lifts that gavel and declares the adoption final that child does not legally belong to you. It matters not that the first time you laid eyes on that child they became yours in your heart.

I have said this before and it likely will sound just as strange to some as it has in the past. When I look at Cameron I truly do not see that he is a different color than me. How can that be? Because when you love a child or love anyone you see their heart, their qualities, who they are not what they look like. I just see my son.

I have been Blessed to experience having birth children and an adopted child and while the process is significantly different the end results are identical. A child who is 100% mine. A brother to his siblings, a brother in law, Grandson, a nephew, an Uncle. And most importantly a Son. He is not just mine he has multiple relationship roles in our family.

So Happy Family days are so much more than a Birthday it is a day that marks “Forever” in the life of a child who was not born into a family, and “forever” into a family that wanted him.

And to Cameron who I know loves his forever family but questions who he looks like. Yes my little duckling, I am your mother.